i think many of my friends from all the local varsities have completed their dreading end semester examinations. that is probably why i was so shocked with the number of messages i received to date me out for clubbing tonight at zouk.
honestly, i really really really wanted to go, but the fact that i am so exhausted, after spending the entire day with my daddy, hitting the gym during my break, and playing basketball with my dearest girls, i swear, my bed was more enticing than any other thing on earth. forget about the mambo steps which many of our mass dances mimicked, let go of the RnB music and the basses hitting into my ear drums, i vow, i would rather just snore my room collapse.
my legs are shivering, and i am on a very stringent diet. sad to say, i am desperately in need of shedding off some extra flabbiness currently existing on my body because i might be scheduled for a shoot which requires me to flaunt my upper torso which i am obviously not very proud of. i need to GET MY LARD OFF so that i will look better for the world wide standards and i tell you honestly, these benchmarks and guidelines of gorgeous-ness, are killing all these models and making them anorexic. anyway, it is not confirmed that the producer might eventually want me, after all, i am not that fantastic but we shall see and i will EAT like there is no tomorrow after the shoot.
i need a break from the insane night life of clubbing. my best friend just reminded me that i was crazily partying five times a week immediately after my examinations has come to an end. drinking alcohol like plain water is not going to do me and my liver good especially when i do it so frequently. not only will it devour my liver, it burnt a hole in my pocket. i cannot recall how i managed to spend 1k on drinks last week and seriously if my daddy ever finds out about my credit card bills which most of it i paid off myself, i would be grounded indefinitely at home.
now, i am a super poor boy so anyone to offer me any cash rewards please?
anyway it was good spending more time with my folks and i think i will get to see daddy so much more since he has been given a month off his truckload amount of work back at his company. i am elated that he is finally walking longer distance with lesser pain. it makes me smile knowing that he is also glad that he is doing better after the operation.
i think family time beats any other time that i spent outside my home. sometimes i wished i will never get to grow older so that i will perpetually have my lovely parents to dote on me. i just cannot imagine how i can ever cope if they ever were to leave me eternally. so the lesson learnt is, treasure them for every each day you have left and i seriously need to imbue this in my mind and stop blasting at my everlasting nagging mother.
sigh. i am getting bored of my school holidays which i have been desiring for before the school even commenced. this is really nasty and i think i might just go do some courses like french or italian, so i can start chiding those ah-beng drivers i meet on the road, and they will never understand! YAY!
i am so SLEEPY, i think i can finally discard my sleeping pills:)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
random.
i just do not know why i could not convey the exact emotions in my heart and mind in my previous entry.
but anyway, i just hoped that i could return to the days when i was younger, whereby life was simpler and happier.
:(
but anyway, i just hoped that i could return to the days when i was younger, whereby life was simpler and happier.
:(
daddy was admitted to the hospital for his spine operation today. age is really catching on him and his health is slowly revealing all the old ailments. he is having problems walking long distance.
i was really worried for him because in his condition, he was not recommended for an operation. he previously had an heart operation as his arteries were closed to 80% blocked and ever since then, he was always on warfarin, a drug used in pharmacology to deal with blood clots and because of this, there was a possibility that his blood could not clot from the operation and he would die from over bleeding. but anyway it went well, and so he should be fine again.
running about to and fro the hospital can be really tedious and i wished i had a chauffeur to ferry me so that i did not have to be the driver. to think that i was once so ecstatic about getting my own driving license and my own car. sometimes, it really stinks having to drive, especially when i do have a tendency to doze off while driving. not only that, i am an accident prone driver, and occasionally, reckless and rude and behave like an ah-beng driver too.
by night time, my entire family were together in the Ward A room. it was comforting to see us together and i was certain daddy was elated that we were there to visit him. After all, he always loved us so much, and all he wishes for, is us spending more time together.
i missed the days when we all lived together, and drove around together in one car. at that time, we were from a humble family, and had no excess cash for any extravagant spending. But even though we all had to squeeze in a small car, we were still happy, and close knitted. it just got me thinking because when we were leaving for dinner, mummy suggested we should just drive her car instead of us driving our separate cars as finding parking lots around Thompson area can a hassle.
in fact, there are times whereby i wished home was also smaller and less equipped so that all of us will be forced to stay together in the living room, then having to just remain in our own rooms doing our own things. it is sad because even though we reside under the same roof, i can barely see my brother for days because each of us are so busy with our lives now, our paths do not meet, and we had forgotten the importance of our family.
after going through so many obstacles in my life, my parents never appear to give up on me. they held on to me each time i was about to fall, or fell. and despite the numerous times i have let them down, they held me up in faith that all things will be resolved and be fine. their love for me is so great that i know in this lifetime,i am blessed for i have such great parents who dote on me selflessly.
i love them so dearly.
happy mothers' day, and i hope that you know, i love you too:)
thank you for having to bear with my volcanic temper, and erratic behaviors, and also my uncontrollable rage to spend.
you are the best. :))
PS: something random BUT OMG I LOOKED DAMN FAT ON THE 7-11 PHOTO PLEASE. i hope they will not publish anymore of it! :(
i was really worried for him because in his condition, he was not recommended for an operation. he previously had an heart operation as his arteries were closed to 80% blocked and ever since then, he was always on warfarin, a drug used in pharmacology to deal with blood clots and because of this, there was a possibility that his blood could not clot from the operation and he would die from over bleeding. but anyway it went well, and so he should be fine again.
running about to and fro the hospital can be really tedious and i wished i had a chauffeur to ferry me so that i did not have to be the driver. to think that i was once so ecstatic about getting my own driving license and my own car. sometimes, it really stinks having to drive, especially when i do have a tendency to doze off while driving. not only that, i am an accident prone driver, and occasionally, reckless and rude and behave like an ah-beng driver too.
by night time, my entire family were together in the Ward A room. it was comforting to see us together and i was certain daddy was elated that we were there to visit him. After all, he always loved us so much, and all he wishes for, is us spending more time together.
i missed the days when we all lived together, and drove around together in one car. at that time, we were from a humble family, and had no excess cash for any extravagant spending. But even though we all had to squeeze in a small car, we were still happy, and close knitted. it just got me thinking because when we were leaving for dinner, mummy suggested we should just drive her car instead of us driving our separate cars as finding parking lots around Thompson area can a hassle.
in fact, there are times whereby i wished home was also smaller and less equipped so that all of us will be forced to stay together in the living room, then having to just remain in our own rooms doing our own things. it is sad because even though we reside under the same roof, i can barely see my brother for days because each of us are so busy with our lives now, our paths do not meet, and we had forgotten the importance of our family.
after going through so many obstacles in my life, my parents never appear to give up on me. they held on to me each time i was about to fall, or fell. and despite the numerous times i have let them down, they held me up in faith that all things will be resolved and be fine. their love for me is so great that i know in this lifetime,i am blessed for i have such great parents who dote on me selflessly.
i love them so dearly.
happy mothers' day, and i hope that you know, i love you too:)
thank you for having to bear with my volcanic temper, and erratic behaviors, and also my uncontrollable rage to spend.
you are the best. :))
PS: something random BUT OMG I LOOKED DAMN FAT ON THE 7-11 PHOTO PLEASE. i hope they will not publish anymore of it! :(
Monday, May 4, 2009
shocking
this morning, i jumped out of my bed, realizing i had over ten unread messages on my phone. wait, i meant afternoon, because i only woke up at three pm?! i feel like a total pig, because all i do is, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, and maybe clubbing.
anyway, it is just shocking because my friend asked, " teddy i did not know you like shopping at 7-11."
me: "eh, i don't shop at 7-11."
he: " but you are on the advertisement."
me: "WTF."
then i recalled it was one of the photo shoot i did for 7-11 a while ago and honestly, i did not think it would be published on the cover page of the brochure. goodness gracious, i honestly wanted to kill myself because i looked hideous.
there are three reasons why that picture was chosen out of so many.
1. it does not reveal my HUGE TATTOO on my right ankle.
2. it does not show my swollen left eye. (i recalled i had eye infection that day)
3. we looked really happy and exhilarated that we BOUGHT LAYS CHIPS FROM 7-11. (another product placement.)
so yes that is me and i just looked fugly.
that day i was tuning to channel 8 in the morning, and then there was this time-slot for repeating those outdated tv dramas. there was this show called Ah-xue and i think it is still rolling. i almost choked onto my breakfast after I SAW MYSELF in it. I almost forgotten i once acted when i was really young for mediacorp and at that time, MDC was still called TCS. anyway, i acted in three shows, and that makes me a forgotten childhood EXTRA.
it is just funny, because i could recall i did not know what i was doing at all. i just knew that i cannot NG as the director had got not much patience for little boys and girls like us. sad to say, i wasn't fann wong, or else i swear i would kick his ass, but then again, if i was her, i would not even NG because she is such a professional actress and a veteran in acting. sigh. i seriously need acting classes.
all these little pieces of my life, makes it so interesting and colorful. i miss those days when we were shooting Hey Gorgeous at Downtown east. it was so much joy, and the production crew and our nanny were so nice to us:) we were still fantasizing if we could all act in a teenage show like "spin" or something.
if only we could do this all over again, but then again, i always had stage fright and that was the reason for my grand finals, i decided to pair up with my dearest sister Linda, because at least i would not have to be alone with my knees knocking against each other.
scheming yes?
those were the days. now we are all back to our own paths, continuing our own journey.
i wonder how are the rest doing.
:)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
yes i managed to clock TEN HOURS OF SLEEP for the past few days! they say in university, if you can sleep six hours a day, it is a luxury which i think sometimes, it is quite a truthful statement made.
something hilarious happened the other day when i was still lazing in bed. my mother was pounding on my door heavily to attempt to wake me up.
she: "are you alright?"
me: "yes? why?"
she: "you slept for so long, your daddy thought you were in coma and asked me to come upstairs to check if you are still breathing."
me: "thanks, but no thanks, and yes, i am still breathing which means mummy, i will still haunt you!"
she: "sian man."
i think my folks are so adorable at times, especially when they are in good mood.
i enjoy sleeping because it allows me to dream. sometimes, dreaming allows you to be at a dimension you know you can never be at in reality. it can also bring you back to the past, whereby history could be replayed, and do things that you always wanted to do. at least for me, it did. it was the closest i could get to the people i wanted to be with yet i knew it was implausible.
there were times when my dreams were monochromatic, others i smiled when i was still snoring. i wished i never had to wake up, because i refused to come back to the callous factual life, which puts me down when i remember things that i do not want to.
but then again, if i do not wake up, i will probably find myself in a coffin.:)
life is not always that smooth sailing. the sea is not always as calm. the wind is not perpetually just a breeze. it gets quite taxing when you know that your journey has so many ups and downs, and sometimes, you just find it so overwhelming, you just rather give it up as the tenacity in you runs dry.
but you know giving up is after all, not the most desirable outcome.
sometimes, i feel that we ourselves, make our lives so difficult for our own desires, and our complex brains seems to always demand for something more.
ever wondered what is our reason of existence, and why we are working so hard when we know that eventually, all will return to dust. that is why i always aim to create a difference, so that i can leave behind a memory for others that did something, out of the ordinary, and make others smile.
i want to go to Bhutan, because J told me that it was one of the places, whereby the people were ranked happiest there. perhaps the simple life there, makes people there really contented.
no wonder there is a saying which says, "simplicity beats the rest."
i am going to start growing wheat at my backyard.
something hilarious happened the other day when i was still lazing in bed. my mother was pounding on my door heavily to attempt to wake me up.
she: "are you alright?"
me: "yes? why?"
she: "you slept for so long, your daddy thought you were in coma and asked me to come upstairs to check if you are still breathing."
me: "thanks, but no thanks, and yes, i am still breathing which means mummy, i will still haunt you!"
she: "sian man."
i think my folks are so adorable at times, especially when they are in good mood.
i enjoy sleeping because it allows me to dream. sometimes, dreaming allows you to be at a dimension you know you can never be at in reality. it can also bring you back to the past, whereby history could be replayed, and do things that you always wanted to do. at least for me, it did. it was the closest i could get to the people i wanted to be with yet i knew it was implausible.
there were times when my dreams were monochromatic, others i smiled when i was still snoring. i wished i never had to wake up, because i refused to come back to the callous factual life, which puts me down when i remember things that i do not want to.
but then again, if i do not wake up, i will probably find myself in a coffin.:)
life is not always that smooth sailing. the sea is not always as calm. the wind is not perpetually just a breeze. it gets quite taxing when you know that your journey has so many ups and downs, and sometimes, you just find it so overwhelming, you just rather give it up as the tenacity in you runs dry.
but you know giving up is after all, not the most desirable outcome.
sometimes, i feel that we ourselves, make our lives so difficult for our own desires, and our complex brains seems to always demand for something more.
ever wondered what is our reason of existence, and why we are working so hard when we know that eventually, all will return to dust. that is why i always aim to create a difference, so that i can leave behind a memory for others that did something, out of the ordinary, and make others smile.
i want to go to Bhutan, because J told me that it was one of the places, whereby the people were ranked happiest there. perhaps the simple life there, makes people there really contented.
no wonder there is a saying which says, "simplicity beats the rest."
i am going to start growing wheat at my backyard.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
stop.
for those who reads my blog, friends or acquaintances, please do not misunderstand my motive for writing the previous entry.
it was not meant to be a war sparked because that was definitely not an intention behind my head, in fact, the only reason why i wrote that, was to let some people understand that, being in the engineering faculty does not mean we are anywhere near the loser end. and if there should be anyone who might look down on us, we ought to prove it to them that we are indeed not just anyone, but someone who can play a significant role in contribution to our society.
i hope this does not appear as certain form of challenge, and definitely, not a show for others to watch. if this happens in NTU, it can happen in any University because i always believe that as successful as our education system may deem to be, there are loop holes which exists, and it is the segregation that has been formed between different institutions, and also, within the school itself. we always feel that one has to be superior to the others but did not realize that actually, we are dependent of one another. a lack of any component, might be the detrimental of this perfect world we are trying to build, and live in.
honestly, i do not judge your actions, and people's social life. my only perspective is, sometimes, we have to be responsible for our actions. if you need respect from others, respect yourself first. but of course, like i said, i am in no position to bother and if i did result in any unhappiness, i should be the first to apologize.
This will be the end of this scene, and the part whereby people take this as some form of hostile platform of challenge should cease because the underlining meaning, was not supposed to be this way, it was meant to be a clearing of thoughts.
i will not want to touch on this disturbing topic again.
:)
it was not meant to be a war sparked because that was definitely not an intention behind my head, in fact, the only reason why i wrote that, was to let some people understand that, being in the engineering faculty does not mean we are anywhere near the loser end. and if there should be anyone who might look down on us, we ought to prove it to them that we are indeed not just anyone, but someone who can play a significant role in contribution to our society.
i hope this does not appear as certain form of challenge, and definitely, not a show for others to watch. if this happens in NTU, it can happen in any University because i always believe that as successful as our education system may deem to be, there are loop holes which exists, and it is the segregation that has been formed between different institutions, and also, within the school itself. we always feel that one has to be superior to the others but did not realize that actually, we are dependent of one another. a lack of any component, might be the detrimental of this perfect world we are trying to build, and live in.
honestly, i do not judge your actions, and people's social life. my only perspective is, sometimes, we have to be responsible for our actions. if you need respect from others, respect yourself first. but of course, like i said, i am in no position to bother and if i did result in any unhappiness, i should be the first to apologize.
This will be the end of this scene, and the part whereby people take this as some form of hostile platform of challenge should cease because the underlining meaning, was not supposed to be this way, it was meant to be a clearing of thoughts.
i will not want to touch on this disturbing topic again.
:)
Friday, May 1, 2009
NBS
seriously, i am not going to comment much on those people who are going to tarnish my tag board, after all, we all know that these things are inevitable, sometimes i just hope that if they have the balls, please just come approach me.
does the whole world expects good consolation each time they become famous? trust me ms/mr myopic boys and girls, it is time to change your glasses because you need to start getting things right, because you don't get the entire world to love you. it is a sad truth, but all of us have a different perspective and maybe to you, that is your form of beauty, to us, it is not, and in this society whereby free will is being practiced, we have our prerogative to speak.
a serious problem that demarcates our education system. it is how disappointing that people from different faculty think that they are highly superior from the rest. honestly, i chose being in engineering faculty instead of being in Nanyang Business School, and it is not because i am not cut up to that ranked top 25 school in the world, but i just had no interest in that area.
if you think that all engineering students are losers, please step out of your well and the Singapore context to perceive things better. and for your information, i was a medical student before i transferred into NTU, i had to come back and deferred a year studies for my personal reasons which i do not need to explain.
does people in Singapore actually know that Engineering course is a professional degree, just like law, medicine and even accountancy? does people know that actually, being an engineer in other countries, like China, States, Switzerland, in fact many other continents, is more desired that being a doctor or lawyer? i think people should start realizing by reading more from Newsweek, times, and other sources, that can educate them more on the world issues. one recommendation, www.asiaone.com. it gives you updates on world news.
for your information, our dearest prime minster, both his sons, are doing Engineering in MIT, hopefully you know what MIT stands for. my friends who are in Princeton, Harvard, are also doing that. also, if i am not mistaken, NTU's engineering is also ranked 25th in the world. so, please, do not leave comments, to try to degrade others, but get yourself embarrassed by how un-knowledgeable you are.
we live in a country, that is dependable on others to survive. given the fact that Singapore is one of the most globalized country in this world, we have to be humble. and if you think that you are especially good, please, start to tone down so that you can survive better in the working society in future, and after all, humility is always a virtue.
i am elated for your friend having a good friend, being defensive for him. but please, when you speak, be more mature. i do not wish to flaunt my family's ability, and i can honestly tell you, being an engineer is a huge stepping stone because i have easy access to the largest shipping firm in Singapore, great gratitude to my father, and in my family, he is not the only one whom i can easily achieve great heights from. i do not need to depend on my family, but connections are consequential sometimes. one thing for sure, not everyone in Engineering, is a loser.
have you ever wonder why all these Chinese people choose to study engineering in NTU and not business school. because, they know very well in them that they can go far especially in their hometown whereby Engineers are still in demand. If they have to go to Business school, they would rather be in Fudan University, their own University, whose MBAs are ranked top eight in the world. we enjoy mocking them but failed to realize they are indeed better. maybe you should try studying Engineering, and you will have a taste of how "easy" it is.
the point i am trying to convey is, every degrees, every schools, every faculties, have their plus points. anyone can succeed and be successful. there should never be any form of comparison of who is better or not because when you do that, people will just tell you to be mature please. if there are no engineers, you will have no buildings to live in, no bridges that link the world together, no infrastructure to give you access to anywhere. if there are no doctors, the world will be plagued with sickly people. if there are no lawyers, there will be no justice. if there are no business students, the world's finance will crumple. i hope you understand my analogy, just in case you could not understand my earlier statements.
regardless of how you perform in your academic life, your attitude of how to handle issues fail you to be someone capable. Because people who can reach high altitude does not behave like you. tolerance is a virtue too.
start seeing others from a different light, and you will realize, you are just nobody. like i said, the quality of being humble.
another point to take note, i will not want to FIGHT with anyone on this tag board as i find it really childish. but, if it gets out of hand, let me tell you what EEE school has taught me in one of their elective modules. it is called, cyber security. every computer has an unique IP address which is so easily tracked down. and then all i have to do, is to hand it over to the authorities so that warnings can be sent out. yes, my family lawyer told me before, this is another form of harassment, and if it gets worst and result to defamation, then the case becomes more complex. anyway, you know, the proof is left on my tag board for anyone to see.:)
it is just an easy process.
FYI, i did not DB anything, in fact, i think i did well. hope your examinations this semester will do well too:)
:) smile.
does the whole world expects good consolation each time they become famous? trust me ms/mr myopic boys and girls, it is time to change your glasses because you need to start getting things right, because you don't get the entire world to love you. it is a sad truth, but all of us have a different perspective and maybe to you, that is your form of beauty, to us, it is not, and in this society whereby free will is being practiced, we have our prerogative to speak.
a serious problem that demarcates our education system. it is how disappointing that people from different faculty think that they are highly superior from the rest. honestly, i chose being in engineering faculty instead of being in Nanyang Business School, and it is not because i am not cut up to that ranked top 25 school in the world, but i just had no interest in that area.
if you think that all engineering students are losers, please step out of your well and the Singapore context to perceive things better. and for your information, i was a medical student before i transferred into NTU, i had to come back and deferred a year studies for my personal reasons which i do not need to explain.
does people in Singapore actually know that Engineering course is a professional degree, just like law, medicine and even accountancy? does people know that actually, being an engineer in other countries, like China, States, Switzerland, in fact many other continents, is more desired that being a doctor or lawyer? i think people should start realizing by reading more from Newsweek, times, and other sources, that can educate them more on the world issues. one recommendation, www.asiaone.com. it gives you updates on world news.
for your information, our dearest prime minster, both his sons, are doing Engineering in MIT, hopefully you know what MIT stands for. my friends who are in Princeton, Harvard, are also doing that. also, if i am not mistaken, NTU's engineering is also ranked 25th in the world. so, please, do not leave comments, to try to degrade others, but get yourself embarrassed by how un-knowledgeable you are.
we live in a country, that is dependable on others to survive. given the fact that Singapore is one of the most globalized country in this world, we have to be humble. and if you think that you are especially good, please, start to tone down so that you can survive better in the working society in future, and after all, humility is always a virtue.
i am elated for your friend having a good friend, being defensive for him. but please, when you speak, be more mature. i do not wish to flaunt my family's ability, and i can honestly tell you, being an engineer is a huge stepping stone because i have easy access to the largest shipping firm in Singapore, great gratitude to my father, and in my family, he is not the only one whom i can easily achieve great heights from. i do not need to depend on my family, but connections are consequential sometimes. one thing for sure, not everyone in Engineering, is a loser.
have you ever wonder why all these Chinese people choose to study engineering in NTU and not business school. because, they know very well in them that they can go far especially in their hometown whereby Engineers are still in demand. If they have to go to Business school, they would rather be in Fudan University, their own University, whose MBAs are ranked top eight in the world. we enjoy mocking them but failed to realize they are indeed better. maybe you should try studying Engineering, and you will have a taste of how "easy" it is.
the point i am trying to convey is, every degrees, every schools, every faculties, have their plus points. anyone can succeed and be successful. there should never be any form of comparison of who is better or not because when you do that, people will just tell you to be mature please. if there are no engineers, you will have no buildings to live in, no bridges that link the world together, no infrastructure to give you access to anywhere. if there are no doctors, the world will be plagued with sickly people. if there are no lawyers, there will be no justice. if there are no business students, the world's finance will crumple. i hope you understand my analogy, just in case you could not understand my earlier statements.
regardless of how you perform in your academic life, your attitude of how to handle issues fail you to be someone capable. Because people who can reach high altitude does not behave like you. tolerance is a virtue too.
start seeing others from a different light, and you will realize, you are just nobody. like i said, the quality of being humble.
another point to take note, i will not want to FIGHT with anyone on this tag board as i find it really childish. but, if it gets out of hand, let me tell you what EEE school has taught me in one of their elective modules. it is called, cyber security. every computer has an unique IP address which is so easily tracked down. and then all i have to do, is to hand it over to the authorities so that warnings can be sent out. yes, my family lawyer told me before, this is another form of harassment, and if it gets worst and result to defamation, then the case becomes more complex. anyway, you know, the proof is left on my tag board for anyone to see.:)
it is just an easy process.
FYI, i did not DB anything, in fact, i think i did well. hope your examinations this semester will do well too:)
:) smile.
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