sob:(

Fann Wong is getting married today.

i hope Christopher Lee will treat her real nice, because her die hard fan( hereby refers to me) since my primary school days will murder him for mistreating my favorite FANN.

kill me. i am listening to her classic SONGS.

sigh:(

can anyone remember THIS SONG?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol0klLJbCcc

it was the BIG THING at my era and i was swooning over her.

i will glue myself to her wedding tomorrow, on my TELEVISION of course.

welcome to my new room, i have a new 42 inch flat screen.

whee!

PS: hey gorgeous people! TIME TO MEET YES?!

i miss my Sea Lion.

mummy made me smile today.

she got me an upright grand piano.

and she told me, if i were to pick up my piano again, and attain the grade eight certificate like my sister, she will get me the grand piano in our living room so that when i play resplendent tunes of different legendary musicians, i can impress everyone better.

finally, i am back on track with something i have been hoping to do for years but was forbidden due to lack of time.

but i guess that lack of time is an excuse and should not be implemented.

we tend to find excuses in everything we do so we could at least find a short term relief from it. but then why should we when ultimately, we will have to face it again unless we intend to just leave it stagnant as it is.

there are things i wished i could do.

next on my list, VIOLIN.

whee!

i had no idea why.

i took the bus and train yesterday.

from east to west.

found no reasons to why i felt this extreme discontentment with myself.

daddy left himself to see his sister for the last time before she returned to ashes.

and when i saw him entered the gate himself at the airport because none of us could make it back with him to attend the funeral, the pain in me, was inexplicable.

all i could do was to send him a short message via our mobile phones,

"daddy, make sure you take of yourself when you're there. make sure your diet is fine. please call us if there's anything and come back to see a doctor regarding your hand. i am sorry i could not go with you. We love you. please take care."

i finally said the word, love. although i thought maybe if i were to tell him directly, it would be better, but i guess, to avoid any form of awkwardness to appear, i exiled that decision in my head. after all, i could not recall when was the last time i told them i love them.

:(

i need an escape.

god bless.

i feel extremely moody today.

the bad news has finally arrived and my aunt did not manage to pull it through till Christmas to see me for the last time.

she ascended to heaven, into the arms of god, on the peaceful night of 220909.

mummy came into my room in the morning, with her bloodshot eyes, and tears formed streams of river down her cheeks.

as always, daddy was solemn, and said no words. yet, from his back view, i saw the aging him, suffering from a pain, he could not explain, or let out. all he did was, to bury it with him, until one day, time serves her purpose to heal all that was once a sore to the wound.

i wanted to hug daddy, yet i did not know what i should exactly do.

i wanted to tell him, "i love him", but the thought of this declaration of my love for him, intimidated me.

somehow, my dear ones are expatriating themselves from my life one by one and it gets scary as i grow up in the process because it seems more prevalent that i see different people, who played a significant role in my life, disappearing and relinquishing from their stage.

if only time was more benevolent, and life was more kind, i would not have to go through these excruciating pain of losing anyone.

how i wish no one will ever step away from my life.

:(

teddy is sad. very sad.

time to return for the funeral to see her for the very last time. thankfully it is term break next week.

:((((((((((

ooh, and yes, did i mention, i am on a mission to transform my dearest cashy, a golden retriever into a Labrador retriever.

why?

all thanks to the long ago due movie on my must watch list that i just completed last weekend, "Marley & Me".

sorry baby, you are going bald.

i feel like an absolutely abusive, and dictative pet owner.

bite me.

today, i spoke to mummy and somehow, from the dictatorial voice that she uses to hide her fragile side, i could sense her pain, and her sorrow.

sometimes, i wished i come from a family who presents their love, and affection for one another more explicitly, so each time, i could figure out easily, their love, and warmth for me and saves me the hassle to guess what lingers upon in their massive thoughts. but sadly, life is never just and the depressing truth is, the family which my lord has endowed me, is entirely the opposite from what i hoped for.

i descended into a traditional family who finds hugging, and saying "i love you", so difficult. however, although the love we have for each other has barely been openly spoken of, i managed to discover and conclude that the immense love my folks have for me, is immeasurable, and noble.

when the world collapses and everyone scatters in different direction for survival, you will realize, only your love ones, stays side by side with you, holding on tightly to your hands, and protect you from the falling sky.

someway, somehow, i know i am proud of my mummy. A woman who came to this unfamiliar land as a total stranger, and abandoned her own comfort zone in Taiwan, to fight for a future she believed would be bright. for all she has done and accomplished, i can only tell her, she is my hero, and my pride.

she told me today that love is great and that true love perseveres in any unsightly complex situations. Giving up is never part of the story. through the arduous journeys that she has struggled through, with the Lucifer, who occasionally played by her ears, deluding her beliefs, and depleting her judgments, she never gave in for she knows her love for us, could overwhelm any hardships in her life.

the bible was immaculate, love is indeed one of the most powerful word in this world.

mummy, i love you.

that goes to you too, my sea lion.

sometimes, it just takes three words to make our life more meaningful.

Love, Hope, and Believe.

i have three quizzes upcoming next week, yet each time when i tried to start reading the first page of my lecture notes, i dozed off.

where has my tenacity to study gone to?

sometimes, i regretted missing school for the past six weeks, but then again, if i were to sit back and understand nothing in the lectures, i would rather do something which i thought was more worthy of my time.

so honestly, i had no regrets for almost appearing like i was no longer a student from Nanyang Technological University.

My laboratory report has finally been submitted after two days of delay, and though i had to say i think i did a rather fantastic job, i guess, i would be marked down for the late submission. But somehow, the grades which i aimed for, seemed less significant as compared before, not to mention this report, which only stands for one credit out of the numerous AUs that i am supposed to attain this semester.

i need to start bucking up, if i still wish to achieve the goals i have aimed in my life. by now, i should have known that, whether being in the medical school or an engineer student, i can still reach the height which i have been hoping to soar in my life.

stay with me, and fight for our dreams.

stay

Stay 因為夜太美 寂寞的月亮
需要星星陪 Stay 不管夜多黑
不管天會亮 不去想明天
 帶我飛 遠遠的 到天涯 到海角 浩瀚的
天際裡 只要有你陪 也許苦 也許甜
不害怕 不後悔 因為愛 讓我們再也分不開
(Just) Stay Stay 因為夜太美 寂寞的月亮
需要星星陪 Stay 就算是不對 就算是沉倫 錯誤也是美

i fell deeply in love this song by Fann Wong. it has been my favorite since it was realeased.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VRzXqIp7m0

bring me away with you to the galaxy, to the stars.

i have tasted the best Sex On The Beach ever in my life.

thank you.

it's unforgettable, incredibly delicious and delightful.

WHEE!

i'm addicted.

bimbo

omg, this is possibly one of the funniest clip i ever watched on youtube. it was so hilarious that my best friend, R, and i, almost died trying to suffocate our extremely uncontrollable loud laughter in the computer laboratory.

goodness, this is the definition of the word, BIMBO.

enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c_A7-7B7-w

AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS ONE TOO!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F74FZfdSJY&feature=related

it's with subtitles.

LOL.

i desperately need to go on a hunger strike.

ever since my trip to Hong Kong, i have gained one kilograms of LARD and as i type in this entry to grip and grouse about my gravity pull from the earth, i am still MUNCHING ON MY FAVOURITE M&M peanut BUTTER.

i need to stop my SUDDEN CRAVINGS for FOOD and my mid night snacks.

i feel like a BIG FAT SLOB.

:(

sometimes, one can just simply get so tired of explaining. but does keeping silence equate to consent? or does it has another alternative to just being a yes?

i get so jaded of having to speak, and so far, till date, even as i know so much has happened, i refused to mutter a single word so as to keep every issue that has been placed abreast as less complicated as it can get because i know, sometimes, defending oneself will only make anything more complex than translucent.

like what i always believed, time is the best solution, or even considerably the most effective medication for most problems one can face as i know, there is always a path to walk on when one reaches the junction of another road corner.

it doesn't matter to me how many people tell me about whose fault is it or whether i am labeled as the Mr Bad Guy as these does not concern me any further, not because i enjoy the limelight of being a jerk, but i know, no one has the prerogative to judge, as they are not me to say.

those who knows you well enough, will know when to trust, and when to stay by your side.

for those who doesn't, well, sad enough, you never get the whole world to be your friends, and that is probably also the best reason why they say best friends are hard to come by.

i am elated i stayed away from all those unsightly affairs, and entirely negated those unfriendly beings from making my life any further, depressing. after all, why waste my breath for i should keep it for something, which worth more than just their absurd boredom.

life is definitely, full of surprises, and human beings, are definitely amazing as each different character, tells a very different story.

this is the play of life.

sit back and enjoy the art of god.

i swear that i had consumed so much pork in hong kong that i am going to declare myself Halal for the rest of the remaining months of 2009 and i am never going to step into any Hong Kong/Macau Cafes for the next few months.

full stop.

my god, the sight of it makes me feel like regurgitating.

but an undeniable and irrefutable truth, their roast park is really F**king good. it is so crispy you can hear it cracking in your mouth as you are trying to proceed to the first step of digesting the food intake.

i miss their roasted pork and char siew.

but i hate the 1kg i put on and that means i have to spend one hour everyday on the treadmill.

now i am remorseful of the sinful yet irresistible food i devoured for the past few days.

:)