love

i never knew my parents love me that much. that was the thought that i once held and strongly believed in when i was still young, immature, and probably very wilful. i always had this idea that my parents were biased, and they loved my siblings more. perhaps, this is the exact example of siblings rivalry, which is possibly, a rather prevalent issue among those who has brothers and sisters.

i was so certain that for a period of time, i thought i detested them, and i could not wait to grow up so that i could stretch my wings and fly to a distant, faraway place whereby i can live on my own.

at that conjuncture of my life, i even cerebrated on the fact i would choose someone else, rather than my family and i supposed, i was at that time, a muddlehead, and imbecile was the best word to describe the idea that was churning in my brains.

then, i grew up and things just simply became more apparent to me. Maybe because the level of maturity in me grew so intensely, most of the once obscured issues became more translucent to me and i realized, it just occurred to me that, they, my family, were not the "expressive" type. we were not those who exchange hugs, kisses, and even the most resplendent words, "i love you". it just felt awkward doing that.

then i ponder, why can we easily do that with our boyfriends/girlfriends, but not to those who has been with us, ever since the day we condescended to this place named, Earth.

through the little actions and thoughts that were shown, and reflected from them, i could see the immense love they have for me. i can confidently say that the amount is immeasurable.

for the past few days, i suffered from gastric infection. adding on to my existing gastric medication condition, it was living hell. there was this night, when i was so much in pain, i could barely stand on my feet. knowing that i was unwell, mummy did her frequent visits to my room to see if i was fine, but was shocked to see me struggling to breathe on my bed.

she went insane and even got almost ready to send me to the hospital when i suggested to her that if she could get me some other medication, it might be better than sending me to the A&E. in the end, the medication worked, and she stayed by me till i fell asleep at four.

there are many little things people do in our lives which we fail to identify them, and realize that these are very strong signs of love. sometimes, we get so busy and negated all these very little yet significant acts around us.

when there is love, there is no need for words, or actions to impress, because if you are truly sincere, your actions and your eyes will tell.

maybe today, many of us have misinterpreted the definition of love, or perhaps, we do not even understand what love is. or maybe, we are just so selfish, we manipulated and translated love into our own forms just to make ourselves happy and entirely neglect how others might feel.

i am going to share one of my favorites from my bible.

Corinthians 1:13
"Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and it is not resentful. love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. love does not come to an end..."

this is love.

and one day when you question yourself why you love someone, and realize you have so many reasons to love that someone, then maybe you should think otherwise. because when you love someone, you will have no reasons. for everything that happens, you know you will never leave that person. that is love.