a planned dinner with one of my best girlfriends, I, but at 1930, she was still home at Fernvale, therefore, i decided that i should call it off, and meet her on other available days instead.

with the ample time left before the end of the day, i realized, i needed some of my own space again. somehow, as i age with time, my personal area of my own becomes more consequential and significant to me. a time whereby i am lost in my own dimension, and is oblivion to almost every other thing that is taking place around me. maybe, it is an act of being anti-social, or a part of my introvert character revealing itself, but i no longer find myself being a social butterfly like before, as delirious.

i guess, it is just pretty taxing to constantly having to entertain everyone, and sometimes, being someone whom you do not want to be because of the presence of others.

i have acquainted with my i-pod, and in someway, it has transformed into one of the most important thing ever in my life. it brings me to where i want to be, and accompanies me throughout the journey whereby i wonder alone. a companion, who solemnly stands by me, and speaks in magical notes, which my ears, desire to listen.

i went to the bookstore, borders after my hectic, and unintentional insane run at gym. in fact, i cannot find any reasons to the sudden adrenaline pumping throughout me, giving me the strength to run at the speed 14. but i just kept running, neglecting the fact that my knees are beginning to weaken and eventually, i got myself so exhausted, i know i can sleep well tonight.

the bookstore is presently listed as one of my favorite hideout nowadays. it allows me to plunge myself into the words of the writer, and flow into the vast, limitless area of imagination my brain has. an adventurous place which i once thought, was very dull.

i bought two books, both of very different genres.

1. To Kill A Mocking Bird.
2. A Woman In Charge- Hillary Rodham Clinton.

well, i guess i have solid reasons to why i intended to splurge on them.

the first book is a classic novel, something which i used to have in possession, but was lent to, and never returned, to one of my friend back in secondary school. perhaps, reading it this time round, will give me an entirely different perspective and i have always wanted to re-read this book, but time, has never given me the immaculate opportunity to do so.

the latter, was about the life of Hillary Clinton.

it just occurred to me that i never exactly knew why i loved and supported her, for her run for presidency, and hopefully, the 44th president of America which she obviously did not. perhaps, the best reasons i could think of, was her charisma, and her confidence. Her beliefs, and her courage to dream and how she stood by her husband during the Lewinsky's affair. She was open, and dared to challenge, to speak out her mind. a quality, which i admired, and wished that, i have half of what she has in her. being a woman, did not stop her from fighting from what she held in her.

but these were gathered, all from what i perceived from the media, and undoubtedly, these could be just the most superficial part or the tip of an iceberg of her true self. there is more to the eye for sure. and i supposed, it does apply to our current predicament.

a judgment is usually pass off, based on the exterior reasons.

i cogitated that i should read more about her, how she grew up, and her days in Yale Law School, to really understand finally, why i have always been attracted to her.

anyway, this thought just happens to coincide with what i have been thinking of.

love today, has been broadly, and widely used, that it no longer means much to anyone, or anybody anymore. interest in somebody, usually commences from what you see from the outside.

people tend to believe in, "what you see, is what you get."

but, the unpleasant truth is, most of the time, you don't.

so when you say you like someone, have you ever thought, what are the reasons of your admirations?

humans are after all flawed, and definitely not impeccable. have you seen the part which has blemishes, and accept it? or have you just seen, what is displayed on the shelves?

perhaps the next time when we intend to love, we should read the "book" of the person, regardless of the duration of the time taken, to really find out the reasons, why this person deserves our love.

maybe this, will reduce the number of heartaches caused everyday.