this is probably like the craziest time out at mambo. everyone was out, relieving themselves and having their post examination celebrations. too bad for NUS, who are still having their papers, so the party people from SMU and NTU had so much fun without you guys! just JESTING. i am sure the more the merrier and my friends from NUS, HURRY FINISH YOUR PAPERS.
anyway, i was almost so rusty at mambo. my previous semester time table did not give me the opportunity to go clubbing because i had lectures and classes in the morning i think and i swear to god, my mother would slaughter me if i were to hang out so late on the normal school day. i mean, she is already screaming her heads off me for coming home so late for the past few nights.
she said, " your examinations finish does not mean that this is the end of the world ok? you better REST AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and yeah, BLA BLA BLA."
me: "wth."
it amuses me when i see the alcohol effects in people start kicking in. all the funniest stuff people can do and say. it is a huge contrast because they walked into the club looking good, and confident of themselves, The babes were pretty, well dressed, and the beasts, no comments, after all, they are beasts. and with the consumption of some rounds of drinks, the girls will start lying on the floor blabbering nonsense, and the "gentleman" will start talking really really loud, as if the whole world was deaf. for a moment, i thought i transferred from Zouk to Kim Seng Wet Market.
i hope i will not be murdered by the NBS people if i do write this and let me clarify this, i DID NOT EAVESDROP, they just happen to be standing next to me and flaunting their identity of being from the prestigious NBS. wth.
anyway one of them was the NBS face, and yes, THE FACE of NBS.
the girl: "omg fuck, i know how many girls you slept with lar!"
the face: " SHUT UP LAR."
the girl: "OH YES AND YOU TOLD ME YOU CUMMED IN HER MOUTH."
the face:" OEI!"
everyone else: "FUCK YOU YOU ASSHOLE."
me: "behave please everyone is STARING AT YOU. this is so embarrassing and i decided to expel myself from my school for tonight."
passer-by: "you're teddy from NTU right? can i borrow a light?"
me: "WTH, i feel like drowning myself."
yes, they were talking about their sexual experiences IN THE OPEN. in fact, not talking, but announcing to the entire world so i do not think that i fall into the category of eavesdropping yes?
i strained my eyes over and tried looking at the gorgeous guy, then i thought, are you GUYS SURE HE IS CAPABLE OF THAT? the truth is, he looks DECENT, so i did not think he would be like some wild horse on the bed and having such weird fantasies in his sexual experience.
University life is getting more liberated. too much sex, out of school, inside school. did i tell anyone, one day when i was in the toilet at night before heading home, i heard a girl moaning in the handicapped toilet? i hope they had condoms on, so i will not have to see my school's name on the news headline stating some abandon infant in the trash cart in NTU.
i think we need sex education badly.
nonetheless, it was good SEEING EVERYONE, and i am so elated, i DISCOVERED THE PARTY ANIMALS AROUND IN SCHOOL! everyone looked so decent, and once they hit the clubs, they were as insane as i was. just when i thought i was the only wild wild one.
omg, i love that song, little wild one by the wonders.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
full stop
this episode between my friends and i, has come to a stop. at least, i want it to have a finale than to allow it to snow ball. well, in this entry, i would like to apologize to people whom i might have hurt in my words, but honestly, i never intended to cause anything to anyone.
like what i said previously, humans are just such weird creatures, supposedly to be superior to animals and other forms because we are imbued with intelligence, moral values and emotions, yet we fail to use these conditions given wisely.
a gift that we are endowed by the lord to feel, to touch, to see, to hear, and love but we have in turns, misuse this resplendent presents and hurt others around us. why can't we people, see things from others' perspective, why can't we be more understanding and forgiving. why can't we dilute hatred, and love in exchange.
love is the greatest thing on earth, probably also the one of the strongest emotions, so magnificent that we humans sometimes lose control of our abilities to act rationally. maybe if we had learnt to be kinder, and love each other more with regards to the differences in one, there would not be war, killings, and disappointments.
i hope to clarify that in my previous entry, i am not an anti-homosexual freak because love should be with no barricades just like how friends should have no boundaries.
live our life once, and let yourself know that you do not have to grip and grouse on the rose bed before your clock stops ticking because you did not live each day, happy, or you could have been happier.
please never make yourself laugh on the expense of others, because you are amplifying the magnitude of jealousy, which although present in everyone else, just that maybe in you, it is growing and getting significant.
all these little acts, people can see, and tell, how true you are. after all, humans feel.
the holidays are giving more than enough time to catch on things that i have missed. the movie, twilight, touched my heart. again, it is love that moved me, giving me hope and a belief that after all, there can be a fairytale. although this was depicted by humans in a book, but if we can write stories so impeccable, why can't we simply act it out?
an unconditional love, a star crossed lovers, yet both held so much faith in believing it to become a reality. the act of selflessness, was simply just, pulchritudinous.
Believe, Have Faith, and Trust.
these were the words engraved on the back of my i-pod when i was back in medical school. but i think, it applies to every part of our lives. we must always believe, have faith, and trust, so the our world will be a nicer place for us to live in, together.
:)
like what i said previously, humans are just such weird creatures, supposedly to be superior to animals and other forms because we are imbued with intelligence, moral values and emotions, yet we fail to use these conditions given wisely.
a gift that we are endowed by the lord to feel, to touch, to see, to hear, and love but we have in turns, misuse this resplendent presents and hurt others around us. why can't we people, see things from others' perspective, why can't we be more understanding and forgiving. why can't we dilute hatred, and love in exchange.
love is the greatest thing on earth, probably also the one of the strongest emotions, so magnificent that we humans sometimes lose control of our abilities to act rationally. maybe if we had learnt to be kinder, and love each other more with regards to the differences in one, there would not be war, killings, and disappointments.
i hope to clarify that in my previous entry, i am not an anti-homosexual freak because love should be with no barricades just like how friends should have no boundaries.
live our life once, and let yourself know that you do not have to grip and grouse on the rose bed before your clock stops ticking because you did not live each day, happy, or you could have been happier.
please never make yourself laugh on the expense of others, because you are amplifying the magnitude of jealousy, which although present in everyone else, just that maybe in you, it is growing and getting significant.
all these little acts, people can see, and tell, how true you are. after all, humans feel.
the holidays are giving more than enough time to catch on things that i have missed. the movie, twilight, touched my heart. again, it is love that moved me, giving me hope and a belief that after all, there can be a fairytale. although this was depicted by humans in a book, but if we can write stories so impeccable, why can't we simply act it out?
an unconditional love, a star crossed lovers, yet both held so much faith in believing it to become a reality. the act of selflessness, was simply just, pulchritudinous.
Believe, Have Faith, and Trust.
these were the words engraved on the back of my i-pod when i was back in medical school. but i think, it applies to every part of our lives. we must always believe, have faith, and trust, so the our world will be a nicer place for us to live in, together.
:)
Monday, April 27, 2009
for the NTU people who gossips.
this entry is dedicated to some of the people in my school and faculty who takes gossiping, rumors spreading participation and backstabbing as part of their daily activities. apparently, i am one of the targeted "victim" in their extra curriculum venture and i think maybe this happens because it does spice up some of their lives, to make their mundane life slightly more intriguing. after all, humans' mouth, is probably one of the most un-ethical section of us, because many people do speak without having the contents flowing through their supposedly functioning brains and they enjoy mocking and talking about others, but forgot to laugh at themselves.
just in case if i do sound as if i am agitated, or livid, please do not get offended for people whom you know i am pointing my fingers at. i do not think that i will be especially inclined to allow my currently happy mood, be dampened by your selfish acts. in a way or another, i am just trying to convey my message in amusement with your due interest in my personal, and social life. after all, you cannot sense my tone through these digital words that are formed on your computer screens.:)
actually, there are things which revolve around me, and i do take note of it. being negligent, or ignorant, does not mean i am entirely oblivious of what is happening around me, it is just that, i have adopted an attitude, which is not to be bothered by all these trivial matters but today, i just want you to know that, i do know who you are and what you say. one side note for you, do not self presumed, because assumptions are after all just baseless facts.
in case if you people do not truly apprehend, i decided to tag along the definition of rumors for you from the world wide recognized website, dictionary.com, to let you know what it means, and how meaningless is it for you to be talking about things that are non-existence, and probably dumb.
rumors = a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts.
i decided to BOLD certain adjectives just in case you cannot grasp the main highlights that will explain that following word attached above. :)
i think that if people are certain about facts, they should no longer have anymore questions, and bother friends around me for answers because it only proves to others that you are not. personally, i always think that if i have any questions which i am doubtful of, i will approach my friend to clear my inquiries, after all, we are friends, and there should be nothing to be ashamed of to ask. if my friend refused to tell me, i would solely respect him/her because everyone has their prerogative to choose if they would want to speak, and i have absolutely no appanage to intrude or encroach into his/her life. for example, if you think that i am gay, please ask me, because i think i know best of my personal sexual preference.
and for your information, i am just disturbed by your source of tips about me, being so affirmative, if you tell me your friend, who is probably a guy, had sex with me before, date me before, then i will say yeah, i am probably gay. but if he/she did not,
and yet has strong confirmations,then, well, i am amazed with their spot on intelligence, and knowing things that even i do not know of myself. perhaps i need to purchase one of their magical crystal balls so that i can prognosticate into people's lives and into the future, knowing who i should beware of.
let me further educate you although i am in no position, i will just like to question how you can possibly conclude my orientation if i am not seeing anyone, or date anyone, or even like anyone. unless the hands that i do hold onto now is a male and the lips which i caress with belongs to an identical sex, then i will gladly admit that yes, i am perhaps, in love with penises. if not, what makes you think that i do not have secret fantasies on vaginas, because i find them as delirious as other guys do. (pardon me for being so direct for i think being honest is going to make you understand.)
if there comes a day, i do fall for any guys, or do have a boyfriend, i will be proud of it, and i will tell my friends and invite them to my private wedding dinner and celebration because i never thought of myself being anti-homosexual. ( you guys will be the first to receive my invitation cards as you all kind of act like some paparazzi. anyway, no worries, i can afford the extra table costs.)after all, god has given us free will to choose, people can choose to walk on whichever path they deemed best for them, and we are in no position to judge others on their decisions made.
just for laughs, "why you so kapo, my life leh, not yours lor. please lar, you interested in me is it, you want to do up a biography for me huh? i gay or lesbian cannot huh? you want to set up a anti homosexxxuuallllll club is it?"
for my friends who do walk on paths which are indifferent, i will always give them my support as long they are definite of what they want, because this is what friendship really is. i trust that they are mature enough to cogitate on independent issues in their journey of life.
i once thought that rumors and all these backstabbing, are just childish acts of kids who seek general fun in secondary school or even junior college. (you know like the chick flicks movies whereby we laugh at how bimbo they are?) but i did not know, these display of act, still persists itself in university whereby many of us, should and behave like an adult by now.
i cannot blame anyone because humans are eventually still filled with flaws. there is no impeccable person in existence so if you think you are, think again.
honestly, i have always intended to lie low in school because i do not need unnecessary attention. but then again, if you think that i am nobody, trust me people, you are stepping on the wrong foot. you will be surprised of my connections, and what i can do after all the thousand of contacts in my hand phone alone is not considered a small number [omg, i totally love my i-phone because i can store so many numbers:)]. i can instantly make you famous throughout all the varsity institutions without any sweat if that is what you desire but of course liked i said, i am not as childish as you are. it is easy for me to dig out who these rascals or menace, but then why should i waste my efforts on you when you are just some SMALL people with very TINY hearts.
the world has changed, and i think that it is time, you should step out of your pint-sized well, to see that the sky is so vast, and great. maybe then, you will come to the realization that you have being so myopic for the past 20 years of living and i think it is never too late to find out before you do return to ashes.
the problem with many people is, they are always too contented with whatever they have, and they refused to step out of their comfort zones, thinking that whatever they have now is suffice. but one day when you are near your end, and you start to reflect on your lives, you will come to regret, and remorse that you had not live your life to the fullest.
life is not about gossiping, and talking about others, and backstabbing them, it is about using your five senses which you are endowed from god, to feel this world, and to make a difference if you can. i believe that the almighty up there, did not create us for such insignificant acts.
start growing up my dear children, i hope you see the light on the other end for the light house is still emanating and it will guide you. hopefully, you will be enlighten one day soon.:)
it just keeps me wondering how much you gain from all these small talks and speculation about others when you cannot even handle your personal life.:) people always complain about others, but failed to realize that they themselves are doing likewise. this is such a huge ironical fact that tickles me. why is it that people loves making themselves happy on the expense of others. mankind is truly selfish and sometimes, jealousy does kill.:)
just for you guys," ok la ok lar, i am gay lar ok? happy not?"
now can we stop since that is what you all think i am and hope to hear. do remember to cut and paste this blog address to let others know too and share your handsome joy. meanwhile i can earn some from the advertisement others might click on. whee!:)
PS: for those who are upset about this post, you can feel free to approach me but do not leave anonymous messages on my tagboard, cos it further proves to me that you are cowardly, and childish. and for those whom i know of, do not worry and run away, because i do not detest anybody. i will still talk to you, and be your friend, because i am not like you. i have got nothing to be guilty of.:)))) )
just in case if i do sound as if i am agitated, or livid, please do not get offended for people whom you know i am pointing my fingers at. i do not think that i will be especially inclined to allow my currently happy mood, be dampened by your selfish acts. in a way or another, i am just trying to convey my message in amusement with your due interest in my personal, and social life. after all, you cannot sense my tone through these digital words that are formed on your computer screens.:)
actually, there are things which revolve around me, and i do take note of it. being negligent, or ignorant, does not mean i am entirely oblivious of what is happening around me, it is just that, i have adopted an attitude, which is not to be bothered by all these trivial matters but today, i just want you to know that, i do know who you are and what you say. one side note for you, do not self presumed, because assumptions are after all just baseless facts.
in case if you people do not truly apprehend, i decided to tag along the definition of rumors for you from the world wide recognized website, dictionary.com, to let you know what it means, and how meaningless is it for you to be talking about things that are non-existence, and probably dumb.
rumors = a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts.
i decided to BOLD certain adjectives just in case you cannot grasp the main highlights that will explain that following word attached above. :)
i think that if people are certain about facts, they should no longer have anymore questions, and bother friends around me for answers because it only proves to others that you are not. personally, i always think that if i have any questions which i am doubtful of, i will approach my friend to clear my inquiries, after all, we are friends, and there should be nothing to be ashamed of to ask. if my friend refused to tell me, i would solely respect him/her because everyone has their prerogative to choose if they would want to speak, and i have absolutely no appanage to intrude or encroach into his/her life. for example, if you think that i am gay, please ask me, because i think i know best of my personal sexual preference.
and for your information, i am just disturbed by your source of tips about me, being so affirmative, if you tell me your friend, who is probably a guy, had sex with me before, date me before, then i will say yeah, i am probably gay. but if he/she did not,
and yet has strong confirmations,then, well, i am amazed with their spot on intelligence, and knowing things that even i do not know of myself. perhaps i need to purchase one of their magical crystal balls so that i can prognosticate into people's lives and into the future, knowing who i should beware of.
let me further educate you although i am in no position, i will just like to question how you can possibly conclude my orientation if i am not seeing anyone, or date anyone, or even like anyone. unless the hands that i do hold onto now is a male and the lips which i caress with belongs to an identical sex, then i will gladly admit that yes, i am perhaps, in love with penises. if not, what makes you think that i do not have secret fantasies on vaginas, because i find them as delirious as other guys do. (pardon me for being so direct for i think being honest is going to make you understand.)
if there comes a day, i do fall for any guys, or do have a boyfriend, i will be proud of it, and i will tell my friends and invite them to my private wedding dinner and celebration because i never thought of myself being anti-homosexual. ( you guys will be the first to receive my invitation cards as you all kind of act like some paparazzi. anyway, no worries, i can afford the extra table costs.)after all, god has given us free will to choose, people can choose to walk on whichever path they deemed best for them, and we are in no position to judge others on their decisions made.
just for laughs, "why you so kapo, my life leh, not yours lor. please lar, you interested in me is it, you want to do up a biography for me huh? i gay or lesbian cannot huh? you want to set up a anti homosexxxuuallllll club is it?"
for my friends who do walk on paths which are indifferent, i will always give them my support as long they are definite of what they want, because this is what friendship really is. i trust that they are mature enough to cogitate on independent issues in their journey of life.
i once thought that rumors and all these backstabbing, are just childish acts of kids who seek general fun in secondary school or even junior college. (you know like the chick flicks movies whereby we laugh at how bimbo they are?) but i did not know, these display of act, still persists itself in university whereby many of us, should and behave like an adult by now.
i cannot blame anyone because humans are eventually still filled with flaws. there is no impeccable person in existence so if you think you are, think again.
honestly, i have always intended to lie low in school because i do not need unnecessary attention. but then again, if you think that i am nobody, trust me people, you are stepping on the wrong foot. you will be surprised of my connections, and what i can do after all the thousand of contacts in my hand phone alone is not considered a small number [omg, i totally love my i-phone because i can store so many numbers:)]. i can instantly make you famous throughout all the varsity institutions without any sweat if that is what you desire but of course liked i said, i am not as childish as you are. it is easy for me to dig out who these rascals or menace, but then why should i waste my efforts on you when you are just some SMALL people with very TINY hearts.
the world has changed, and i think that it is time, you should step out of your pint-sized well, to see that the sky is so vast, and great. maybe then, you will come to the realization that you have being so myopic for the past 20 years of living and i think it is never too late to find out before you do return to ashes.
the problem with many people is, they are always too contented with whatever they have, and they refused to step out of their comfort zones, thinking that whatever they have now is suffice. but one day when you are near your end, and you start to reflect on your lives, you will come to regret, and remorse that you had not live your life to the fullest.
life is not about gossiping, and talking about others, and backstabbing them, it is about using your five senses which you are endowed from god, to feel this world, and to make a difference if you can. i believe that the almighty up there, did not create us for such insignificant acts.
start growing up my dear children, i hope you see the light on the other end for the light house is still emanating and it will guide you. hopefully, you will be enlighten one day soon.:)
it just keeps me wondering how much you gain from all these small talks and speculation about others when you cannot even handle your personal life.:) people always complain about others, but failed to realize that they themselves are doing likewise. this is such a huge ironical fact that tickles me. why is it that people loves making themselves happy on the expense of others. mankind is truly selfish and sometimes, jealousy does kill.:)
just for you guys," ok la ok lar, i am gay lar ok? happy not?"
now can we stop since that is what you all think i am and hope to hear. do remember to cut and paste this blog address to let others know too and share your handsome joy. meanwhile i can earn some from the advertisement others might click on. whee!:)
PS: for those who are upset about this post, you can feel free to approach me but do not leave anonymous messages on my tagboard, cos it further proves to me that you are cowardly, and childish. and for those whom i know of, do not worry and run away, because i do not detest anybody. i will still talk to you, and be your friend, because i am not like you. i have got nothing to be guilty of.:)))) )
Sunday, April 26, 2009
crazy night out.
being under immense and constant stress, i feel like a caged, untrained bird with this chain binding onto my tiny little feet. when the paddle-lock was removed, and the cage was left opened unintentionally, i took this plunge towards my freedom which awaited me right on the other side of the prison.
i let down all the responsibilities in my mind on my academic work last night, and partied away. it was great, having no more worries on unfinished tutorials and assignments on my mind. for the past few months, i was struggling and juggling with many other distractions on my hands, and each time even though i seek for a relief, my school work was consistently bugging me on the back of my head.
this time round, nothing did, and i felt like i really did enjoy myself to the maximum.
seven crazy people from different paths of life, and probably many will be surprised why i am with them because somehow, we can be rather different. then again, i loved hanging out with them, one thing for sure, because they are real people, who does not live behind the masquerade of life, and i know, they would take good care of me.
i had the table reserved under my name yesterday and the drinks were more than enough. three bottles of champagne, one bottle of vodka, two jars of cranberry vodka, some ladies cocktails which i loved so much. i stretched myself to the point whereby the world around me was spinning insanely and the heavy bass of the music pounding into my head. i was high.
thank you Bryan for helping with me with the table, and thank you my friend J, for being my personal chauffeur, picking and sending me home.
i feel so happy now and yes, the partying should cut down a bit. after all, times are bad and i should saving.
talking about saving, i feel like slaughtering my mother's friends who forced me into a game of mahjong in the morning because they needed one more player. i felt like i was so gullible and they deceived me that they were not like "pro". how can i even trust them? this game of the mind, is probably the TAI TAIs' forte. i did not know that having an "AN4 KANG4" (four of the same tiles), cost me three of my Mac Donald's meal up sized. WTH.
thankfully my mother taught me well and i lost only 100. at least it was not as disastrous as what i thought i might be.
i love school holidays and i love CHAMPAGNE!:)
i let down all the responsibilities in my mind on my academic work last night, and partied away. it was great, having no more worries on unfinished tutorials and assignments on my mind. for the past few months, i was struggling and juggling with many other distractions on my hands, and each time even though i seek for a relief, my school work was consistently bugging me on the back of my head.
this time round, nothing did, and i felt like i really did enjoy myself to the maximum.
seven crazy people from different paths of life, and probably many will be surprised why i am with them because somehow, we can be rather different. then again, i loved hanging out with them, one thing for sure, because they are real people, who does not live behind the masquerade of life, and i know, they would take good care of me.
i had the table reserved under my name yesterday and the drinks were more than enough. three bottles of champagne, one bottle of vodka, two jars of cranberry vodka, some ladies cocktails which i loved so much. i stretched myself to the point whereby the world around me was spinning insanely and the heavy bass of the music pounding into my head. i was high.
thank you Bryan for helping with me with the table, and thank you my friend J, for being my personal chauffeur, picking and sending me home.
i feel so happy now and yes, the partying should cut down a bit. after all, times are bad and i should saving.
talking about saving, i feel like slaughtering my mother's friends who forced me into a game of mahjong in the morning because they needed one more player. i felt like i was so gullible and they deceived me that they were not like "pro". how can i even trust them? this game of the mind, is probably the TAI TAIs' forte. i did not know that having an "AN4 KANG4" (four of the same tiles), cost me three of my Mac Donald's meal up sized. WTH.
thankfully my mother taught me well and i lost only 100. at least it was not as disastrous as what i thought i might be.
i love school holidays and i love CHAMPAGNE!:)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
i love home.
the common traits of me, at least in other people's perspective is, a party animal, crazy, wild and yes, you can continue the list of descriptive vocabulary words in your thesaurus that is under the common word, insane. but then i guess, people tend to judge others based on the cover of the book which probably makes up the overall "first impression" of the delirious-ness of the content.
then again, how true do you think your judgment will be, based on the most superficial analysis of a person? i wrote something before in my private blog five years ago, and till now, i still think that it applies to many people i meet. in fact, i think that sometimes, i do judge people based on appearance, and the intriguing fact is, knowing that that is not the immaculate way of exchanging the first interaction with the opposite party, why do i allow myself to perpetually make that identical mistake?
"humans are complex yet superficial beings. they tend to be judgemental based on how things appear to be like, yet the system of emotions which govern the human mind,
is multifarious and somewhat bewildering."
i hope our earth will change, and be a kinder place to live in.
i do not appear as unfriendly as i am on the outside. it is just somewhat amusing with my friends telling me that i look unapproachable, and too good for many. when the truth is, i never did think that i am good, or even if i am, it makes me superior to anyone. having to win the title of the "gorgeous" does not create any differences between me and other crowds. in fact, i always believe that each individual is beautiful in their own manner, just that, sometimes, people do not realize their true self. there is nothing be to inferior about because all it requires is just your confidence.
i love staying at home. and in fact, i adore the scenery outside my room. lying down on my floor, staring outside my huge windows panels, seeing the sky, and the clouds. i feel like time has come to a complete stop. someone once told me, jay has got a very soothing voice, and suddenly as i decided to do with mando pop today, i realized that indeed, his vocals kept me calm and relieved.
how i wish my days are so smooth sailing each day, whereby nothing bothers me and the rays of the sun keeps me warm in my overly strong air-conditioned room.
then again, how true do you think your judgment will be, based on the most superficial analysis of a person? i wrote something before in my private blog five years ago, and till now, i still think that it applies to many people i meet. in fact, i think that sometimes, i do judge people based on appearance, and the intriguing fact is, knowing that that is not the immaculate way of exchanging the first interaction with the opposite party, why do i allow myself to perpetually make that identical mistake?
"humans are complex yet superficial beings. they tend to be judgemental based on how things appear to be like, yet the system of emotions which govern the human mind,
is multifarious and somewhat bewildering."
i hope our earth will change, and be a kinder place to live in.
i do not appear as unfriendly as i am on the outside. it is just somewhat amusing with my friends telling me that i look unapproachable, and too good for many. when the truth is, i never did think that i am good, or even if i am, it makes me superior to anyone. having to win the title of the "gorgeous" does not create any differences between me and other crowds. in fact, i always believe that each individual is beautiful in their own manner, just that, sometimes, people do not realize their true self. there is nothing be to inferior about because all it requires is just your confidence.
i love staying at home. and in fact, i adore the scenery outside my room. lying down on my floor, staring outside my huge windows panels, seeing the sky, and the clouds. i feel like time has come to a complete stop. someone once told me, jay has got a very soothing voice, and suddenly as i decided to do with mando pop today, i realized that indeed, his vocals kept me calm and relieved.
how i wish my days are so smooth sailing each day, whereby nothing bothers me and the rays of the sun keeps me warm in my overly strong air-conditioned room.
yay! i finally got back my mighty wireless mouse from Apple shop. that silly mouse was malfunctioning for like the longest period of time i ever had in my life and eventually i got a brand new one back. i realized that is the reason why i love their products so much, because so long as you sent in your complaints, you will always get a new one in exchange. probably that is the reason why my phone always look like it is in the "impeccable" condition because whenever i find new scratches, i will send it for repair.
i guess i am pretty much of a perfectionist in my personal belongings. i just do not like my stuff to be damaged, and misused. like my car, it is as good as new even though i do have to agree i do push it to its limits everyday but then again, the money spent on modifying it should be worth it, isn't it? my dearest vivi, you have done me proud everyday:)
i did my facial wash today with my mother's therapist, i think that she is rather professional but her comments can be really blunt. she asked me, " how old are you? are you like 17?"
me: " no? i am 23 this year."
she: " are you serious? oh my, your pimples is bad around your forehead, i thought you are still going through puberty."
me: "total silence."
i was thinking to myself, you mean, only people going through the stage of growing can have these acne growing? you mean only during teenage life i will have my hormones getting out of control? come on, give me a break, many guys and girls today have their hormones raging everyday despite their during age groups they belong to!
but then again, even though she gave me a rather non-scientific proven theory, i thought her skills were rather professional that is if you can disregard her being so rough on you. my face was severely bruised after she attempted to pop those humps plaguing me. wth.
Ray finally treated us to his belated birthday dinner at Ritz today. i miss that place, somehow, memories just flooded my mine when i stepped into that extravagant hotel. to think that i was once a regular customer there, i really wonder why i dared not even enter for the past two years, what was i so apprehensive of?
first day of my holiday, and i am so not used to the amount of freedom i am endowed.
i wonder how my remaining days are going to be spent. maybe i should do something really productive. :)
i guess i am pretty much of a perfectionist in my personal belongings. i just do not like my stuff to be damaged, and misused. like my car, it is as good as new even though i do have to agree i do push it to its limits everyday but then again, the money spent on modifying it should be worth it, isn't it? my dearest vivi, you have done me proud everyday:)
i did my facial wash today with my mother's therapist, i think that she is rather professional but her comments can be really blunt. she asked me, " how old are you? are you like 17?"
me: " no? i am 23 this year."
she: " are you serious? oh my, your pimples is bad around your forehead, i thought you are still going through puberty."
me: "total silence."
i was thinking to myself, you mean, only people going through the stage of growing can have these acne growing? you mean only during teenage life i will have my hormones getting out of control? come on, give me a break, many guys and girls today have their hormones raging everyday despite their during age groups they belong to!
but then again, even though she gave me a rather non-scientific proven theory, i thought her skills were rather professional that is if you can disregard her being so rough on you. my face was severely bruised after she attempted to pop those humps plaguing me. wth.
Ray finally treated us to his belated birthday dinner at Ritz today. i miss that place, somehow, memories just flooded my mine when i stepped into that extravagant hotel. to think that i was once a regular customer there, i really wonder why i dared not even enter for the past two years, what was i so apprehensive of?
first day of my holiday, and i am so not used to the amount of freedom i am endowed.
i wonder how my remaining days are going to be spent. maybe i should do something really productive. :)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
relief day
like the erratic herd of horses dashing across the great safari of Africa, i was finally out of the examination hall for the final time, grasping the air of liberation and freedom with joy and relief. i can now pronounce myself, a free man.
i cannot wait to embrace the three and a half months of rest that is awaiting for me. it feels as if this was what i was hoping for ever since the first day the school bell rang and i was awaken by the persistent Britney's womanizer song on my mobile's alarm clock to prepare for lectures and tutorials.
i dare not think about the impending results that will screen herself on my apple laptop one month later, because somehow i can prognosticate into the future of my grades, which is probably pretty substandard.
my life science paper did not go as well as i thought. it was almost the only distinction i think i can attain this semester, and because of my already formed foundation in medicine previously, i thought i might find this easy and a breeze for me. i guess my complacency allowed me to put my guard down and my inadequate preparation will deprive me of my goal. i just hope that i can, at the very least still maintain my honors for this year, and hopefully, in the upcoming semesters to come, i will be able to pull my socks up and do much better than just an average student. because i know, i am never just an average boy.
i filled my schedule after examination with all my "beautifying" processes and i cannot believe, how deprived i am, to regain some of my confidence level. yes, i am a boy full of vanity, but who does not like to feel and look good.
immediately after my paper, i was busily running about.
1. hit the gym and ran off my calories gained from excess disorder eating.
2. eye brows shaping.
3. waxing. ( something new, i will not tell you where. it's secret so don't bother.)
4. church class.
the next day, my time table continues to run.
1. gym in the morning.
2. facial.
3. hair cut.
4. shopping.
5. dinner buffet with my buddy.
and then i will crash into my bed and hibernate for probably a week or so. when i awake up and look into the mirror again, i will see that the frog has transformed back to a prince again.
good plan yes? that is why i decided to retain some of my frequent visits to my therapists before i sleep. so i will feel fresh and anew again when i rise from my bed.
i know i am vain but it cannot be help. my best friend was right, one day, the mirror on the wall will fall onto me.
till then, i shall still continue looking into the mirror and enjoy the resplendent scenery. (I'm jesting)
:)
i cannot wait to embrace the three and a half months of rest that is awaiting for me. it feels as if this was what i was hoping for ever since the first day the school bell rang and i was awaken by the persistent Britney's womanizer song on my mobile's alarm clock to prepare for lectures and tutorials.
i dare not think about the impending results that will screen herself on my apple laptop one month later, because somehow i can prognosticate into the future of my grades, which is probably pretty substandard.
my life science paper did not go as well as i thought. it was almost the only distinction i think i can attain this semester, and because of my already formed foundation in medicine previously, i thought i might find this easy and a breeze for me. i guess my complacency allowed me to put my guard down and my inadequate preparation will deprive me of my goal. i just hope that i can, at the very least still maintain my honors for this year, and hopefully, in the upcoming semesters to come, i will be able to pull my socks up and do much better than just an average student. because i know, i am never just an average boy.
i filled my schedule after examination with all my "beautifying" processes and i cannot believe, how deprived i am, to regain some of my confidence level. yes, i am a boy full of vanity, but who does not like to feel and look good.
immediately after my paper, i was busily running about.
1. hit the gym and ran off my calories gained from excess disorder eating.
2. eye brows shaping.
3. waxing. ( something new, i will not tell you where. it's secret so don't bother.)
4. church class.
the next day, my time table continues to run.
1. gym in the morning.
2. facial.
3. hair cut.
4. shopping.
5. dinner buffet with my buddy.
and then i will crash into my bed and hibernate for probably a week or so. when i awake up and look into the mirror again, i will see that the frog has transformed back to a prince again.
good plan yes? that is why i decided to retain some of my frequent visits to my therapists before i sleep. so i will feel fresh and anew again when i rise from my bed.
i know i am vain but it cannot be help. my best friend was right, one day, the mirror on the wall will fall onto me.
till then, i shall still continue looking into the mirror and enjoy the resplendent scenery. (I'm jesting)
:)
emo day.
i watched a movie today, just to relieve myself of some steam before my final sprint for tomorrow.
it reminded me of something, and i cogitated that i should just list it down so that i can engrave it in me. The show had a hidden agenda behind the moral of the story, and many things of this "comedy" actually do play a significant and resemblance to my personal life.
i should have realize this by now, just that perhaps i was perpetually living in a state of delusion. Things that are gone, are gone indefinitely. like the leaf carried away by the breeze, it will never lie stagnantly on the patch of grass any longer but be with wherever the air of molecules bring it to be.
i love you and because i really do, i should have let you go experience your life the way you want it. why should i be the hindering reason to make you stay, when i know that you heart asked for anything but me.
loving someone is to see that someone really happy, with or without you. For the past two years i have been looking over your shoulder without you knowing that i have been keeping you in my prayers.
i should have respected you, and loved you with all i had and not allowing myself to commit grave mistakes that were unforgiving, and made you livid.
that day in 2006, will be the day i will never forget.
:)
it reminded me of something, and i cogitated that i should just list it down so that i can engrave it in me. The show had a hidden agenda behind the moral of the story, and many things of this "comedy" actually do play a significant and resemblance to my personal life.
i should have realize this by now, just that perhaps i was perpetually living in a state of delusion. Things that are gone, are gone indefinitely. like the leaf carried away by the breeze, it will never lie stagnantly on the patch of grass any longer but be with wherever the air of molecules bring it to be.
i love you and because i really do, i should have let you go experience your life the way you want it. why should i be the hindering reason to make you stay, when i know that you heart asked for anything but me.
loving someone is to see that someone really happy, with or without you. For the past two years i have been looking over your shoulder without you knowing that i have been keeping you in my prayers.
i should have respected you, and loved you with all i had and not allowing myself to commit grave mistakes that were unforgiving, and made you livid.
that day in 2006, will be the day i will never forget.
:)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
yes, i feel a huge load lifted up from my weary shoulders. it was as if i just completed my 24 km route march.
four papers down, and one more to go, the final lap.
although today, i forgotten two equations, which led to a lost of 17 marks for my material science module, my mood was not dampen because somehow i knew the end was near. the joy for liberation overwhelmed the discontentment i should have for deteriorating my grades further due to my insufficient preparation of knowledge for my cores.
honestly, i should have known better that i will not reach my maximum altitude this semester, after all i was so distracted with competitions, performances, and others, i practically felt that everything else was so much more exhilarating than just sitting down and meditate with my notes and textbook.
but nonetheless at least i have a better idea of how i should juggle with my workload next semester if i do have other commitments tagging along.
close to four months of holidays and suddenly i feel that i might just miss school.
studying life sciences reminds me of studying medicine in the past. i miss my life being a medical student, something which never failed to intrigue me, human anatomy, viruses and health.
this path now that i am on, is a total diversion from where i was from initially. but after being here for two semesters, i think i have pretty much, adapted back.
time not to look bad and get myself upset.
probably more awaits for me at the other side of the rainbow which i have been awaiting for. :)
my final sprint starts.
four papers down, and one more to go, the final lap.
although today, i forgotten two equations, which led to a lost of 17 marks for my material science module, my mood was not dampen because somehow i knew the end was near. the joy for liberation overwhelmed the discontentment i should have for deteriorating my grades further due to my insufficient preparation of knowledge for my cores.
honestly, i should have known better that i will not reach my maximum altitude this semester, after all i was so distracted with competitions, performances, and others, i practically felt that everything else was so much more exhilarating than just sitting down and meditate with my notes and textbook.
but nonetheless at least i have a better idea of how i should juggle with my workload next semester if i do have other commitments tagging along.
close to four months of holidays and suddenly i feel that i might just miss school.
studying life sciences reminds me of studying medicine in the past. i miss my life being a medical student, something which never failed to intrigue me, human anatomy, viruses and health.
this path now that i am on, is a total diversion from where i was from initially. but after being here for two semesters, i think i have pretty much, adapted back.
time not to look bad and get myself upset.
probably more awaits for me at the other side of the rainbow which i have been awaiting for. :)
my final sprint starts.
dying
i think i was on an over dosage of Panadol Extra today. just before my elective examination paper even commenced, my head was pounding and i was cursing as i forgotten to bring along my migraine medication.
in the end, i took multiple pills to hopefully contain the excruciating pain my brains were wrecking in me.
throughout the entire paper, my mind was working on only half of the capacity it was supposed to be. disappointed because my targeted grade will not be attain, and after all, we all know that electives are supposed to be a savior, to pull up our overall grades but mine, is going to be inutile. i can only pray for a miracle.
i loathe examination period.
1. it is a grow-fat time frame.
2. it is an uglification process.
3. it is a stress training program.
4. it is a period of sleep deprivation lucifer.
let me elaborate.
1. i take more than the usual number of meals each day to sustain the activity of my brains. usually, i can feel wave fronts forming at my abdominal area after the examinations, due to lack of exercise, and over eating.
2. the lack of sleep, makes my SK2 no longer effective. i have outbreaks, and i lose my skin tone. not only that, i wear sloppy attire, uncombed hair and spectacles.
3. the amount of stress, is so intense, my hair falls increase exponentially during this duration.
4. honestly, i need ten hours of sleep a day. call me a pig or whatever, but i just need it. SLEEPING IS ONE OF MY CONSEQUENTIAL ACTIVITY OF MY LIFE AND I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.
sigh, who loves examinations.
i detest them, and my chicken essence seems to be losing its power.
wth.
in the end, i took multiple pills to hopefully contain the excruciating pain my brains were wrecking in me.
throughout the entire paper, my mind was working on only half of the capacity it was supposed to be. disappointed because my targeted grade will not be attain, and after all, we all know that electives are supposed to be a savior, to pull up our overall grades but mine, is going to be inutile. i can only pray for a miracle.
i loathe examination period.
1. it is a grow-fat time frame.
2. it is an uglification process.
3. it is a stress training program.
4. it is a period of sleep deprivation lucifer.
let me elaborate.
1. i take more than the usual number of meals each day to sustain the activity of my brains. usually, i can feel wave fronts forming at my abdominal area after the examinations, due to lack of exercise, and over eating.
2. the lack of sleep, makes my SK2 no longer effective. i have outbreaks, and i lose my skin tone. not only that, i wear sloppy attire, uncombed hair and spectacles.
3. the amount of stress, is so intense, my hair falls increase exponentially during this duration.
4. honestly, i need ten hours of sleep a day. call me a pig or whatever, but i just need it. SLEEPING IS ONE OF MY CONSEQUENTIAL ACTIVITY OF MY LIFE AND I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.
sigh, who loves examinations.
i detest them, and my chicken essence seems to be losing its power.
wth.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
ah beng driver
this is probably another incident witnessed by many Singaporeans when they drive each day on the roads; Ah Beng drivers.
my friends would most probably think that i am referring to myself, after all, my car resembles and has many distinctive features of being one, but i am still lacked of an explosive exhaust pipe, and lights hanging from the undercarriage of my transportation tool. furthermore, which Beng do you see, have a rosary and a cross hanging from their reflective mirrors. therefore, i would always say that i am akin to any other common drivers on the road.
back to the point, this guy drove a black un-modified VIOS and swift from right to my mother's lane without even giving a prior notice. being old and unresponsive, she was shocked, and honked.
the gangster was obviously discontented, probably he thought that being honked was like the greatest humiliation on earth, he decided to overtake, GLARED at us, and wind down his window and yelled' "!@#$%^&*", challenging us to put the car to a halt and talk to him. being the usual me, i just told him to F-off. why should i bother, but then again, if i was the driver, i swear, i would stop the car insult him with my very blatant and rude vocabulary i have in my dictionary but i doubt he could understand.
being nonchalant, my mother took her hand phone and told me to snap a picture of his gracious face and phoned the police, and she made a very funnny yet arrogant comment, "son, why bother to even retaliate to such a person, and ruin your own's reputation. look at him, his car, is not even one fifth worth of ours and you think you want to send your future to the drain, with a guy, who can probably just drive that kind of car? you have further way to go."
i relented.
what else can i do? she is my mother, and she is never wrong. i guess she was rather rude in a sense of looking down on others, but i supposed, she gave a rather good analogy to make me realize some things are just not worth doing, or going against. think and look over the entire huge predicament, and see the entire outcome from an external angle. maybe that is the time, we will come to an enlightment, not to act on impulse so that we would not end up gripping and grousing over spilt milk.
but i still feel like giving him a big tight slap across his haggard smoker face and use the hammer we hid under our seats for safety purposes, to whack some senses, and manners into his brains.
god bless him and thank god for giving me such a wise mother.
i love her.")
my friends would most probably think that i am referring to myself, after all, my car resembles and has many distinctive features of being one, but i am still lacked of an explosive exhaust pipe, and lights hanging from the undercarriage of my transportation tool. furthermore, which Beng do you see, have a rosary and a cross hanging from their reflective mirrors. therefore, i would always say that i am akin to any other common drivers on the road.
back to the point, this guy drove a black un-modified VIOS and swift from right to my mother's lane without even giving a prior notice. being old and unresponsive, she was shocked, and honked.
the gangster was obviously discontented, probably he thought that being honked was like the greatest humiliation on earth, he decided to overtake, GLARED at us, and wind down his window and yelled' "!@#$%^&*", challenging us to put the car to a halt and talk to him. being the usual me, i just told him to F-off. why should i bother, but then again, if i was the driver, i swear, i would stop the car insult him with my very blatant and rude vocabulary i have in my dictionary but i doubt he could understand.
being nonchalant, my mother took her hand phone and told me to snap a picture of his gracious face and phoned the police, and she made a very funnny yet arrogant comment, "son, why bother to even retaliate to such a person, and ruin your own's reputation. look at him, his car, is not even one fifth worth of ours and you think you want to send your future to the drain, with a guy, who can probably just drive that kind of car? you have further way to go."
i relented.
what else can i do? she is my mother, and she is never wrong. i guess she was rather rude in a sense of looking down on others, but i supposed, she gave a rather good analogy to make me realize some things are just not worth doing, or going against. think and look over the entire huge predicament, and see the entire outcome from an external angle. maybe that is the time, we will come to an enlightment, not to act on impulse so that we would not end up gripping and grousing over spilt milk.
but i still feel like giving him a big tight slap across his haggard smoker face and use the hammer we hid under our seats for safety purposes, to whack some senses, and manners into his brains.
god bless him and thank god for giving me such a wise mother.
i love her.")
what you said, disappointed me, and i should not comment any further.
you misunderstood me, did many self presumption on your own account, and i could not believe somehow that was what you think i was made of, you think too little of me.
this issue is taxing me out, pardon me, for not wanting to bother anymore. i am as tired as you are.
the weather today was like living hell. i felt like i was constantly being immolated in the oven cooking at 180 degrees, it was just a matter of time before i became a roasted pig served on the dish.
The entire singapore was plagued with students having examinations and suddenly, i realized the population is way too hardworking. it took me exactly two hours, to travel to several places before i managed to find myself a place to settle down and MUG.
i could have saved two hours doing it at home, but then again, knowing that the distractions in my cosy room and home is just way too overwhelming, i think the trade off is worth it after all.
somehow, i managed to study for seven hours straight, and i consumed two mac donalds meal. i cannot believe the amount of calories i actually allow myself to devour down, considering that i never put these fast food chains as my selection of food cuisine. i swear i am going to go back to gym to run on the treadmill for forty five minutes tomorrow.
i am so jaded with all these activities, in fact, tomorrow i still have to run for a performance at Raffles Hotel. knowing that it clashes with my papers and i wanted to give it a miss, i was obviously not given the prerogative to retaliate that decision made by my vocal mentor. i feel like slaying her, but nonetheless, i shall be kind, after all, i gave my mother a hard hearing, and i bet she must be feeling guilty for instigating me to take part in this rather insignificant show.
i feel like concealing myself at home for another week after seeing myself in the mirror today. i have eye bags like tea bags, dark eye rings like BEI BEI, the panda in sichuan, and outbreak of tiny pimples like grains of rocks in the sand. i reckon that i need to go on a detox, and beautifying process immediately after the date i am liberated from my examination responsibilities.
my sister actually asked me along with her to japan in may. but i guess i might end up being her slave because my nephew will pester me for the entire trip. a nanny instead i would call myself.
then again, japan sounds rather tempting to me, IT's JAPAN! and disney land! yay!
so i shall consider really hard. or maybe i should just go back to taiwan and find jolin tsai, and not forgetting spreading my love to my family back there.
:)
i feel lifeless.
you misunderstood me, did many self presumption on your own account, and i could not believe somehow that was what you think i was made of, you think too little of me.
this issue is taxing me out, pardon me, for not wanting to bother anymore. i am as tired as you are.
the weather today was like living hell. i felt like i was constantly being immolated in the oven cooking at 180 degrees, it was just a matter of time before i became a roasted pig served on the dish.
The entire singapore was plagued with students having examinations and suddenly, i realized the population is way too hardworking. it took me exactly two hours, to travel to several places before i managed to find myself a place to settle down and MUG.
i could have saved two hours doing it at home, but then again, knowing that the distractions in my cosy room and home is just way too overwhelming, i think the trade off is worth it after all.
somehow, i managed to study for seven hours straight, and i consumed two mac donalds meal. i cannot believe the amount of calories i actually allow myself to devour down, considering that i never put these fast food chains as my selection of food cuisine. i swear i am going to go back to gym to run on the treadmill for forty five minutes tomorrow.
i am so jaded with all these activities, in fact, tomorrow i still have to run for a performance at Raffles Hotel. knowing that it clashes with my papers and i wanted to give it a miss, i was obviously not given the prerogative to retaliate that decision made by my vocal mentor. i feel like slaying her, but nonetheless, i shall be kind, after all, i gave my mother a hard hearing, and i bet she must be feeling guilty for instigating me to take part in this rather insignificant show.
i feel like concealing myself at home for another week after seeing myself in the mirror today. i have eye bags like tea bags, dark eye rings like BEI BEI, the panda in sichuan, and outbreak of tiny pimples like grains of rocks in the sand. i reckon that i need to go on a detox, and beautifying process immediately after the date i am liberated from my examination responsibilities.
my sister actually asked me along with her to japan in may. but i guess i might end up being her slave because my nephew will pester me for the entire trip. a nanny instead i would call myself.
then again, japan sounds rather tempting to me, IT's JAPAN! and disney land! yay!
so i shall consider really hard. or maybe i should just go back to taiwan and find jolin tsai, and not forgetting spreading my love to my family back there.
:)
i feel lifeless.
Friday, April 17, 2009
losing my patience to study.
feel so exhausted. two papers have depleted pretty much of my active brain cells which was supposed to sustain my entire life.
i have planned the activities after my papers.
1. hibernate for two days.
2. a good hair cut.
3. my gym regime
4. getting my skin tone back.
5. facial.
6. a trip to somewhere.
i cannot wait for thursday to come, in the same time, i hope it does not come so soon, because i have yet completed studying my material science module, and my elective.
sigh.
feel so exhausted. two papers have depleted pretty much of my active brain cells which was supposed to sustain my entire life.
i have planned the activities after my papers.
1. hibernate for two days.
2. a good hair cut.
3. my gym regime
4. getting my skin tone back.
5. facial.
6. a trip to somewhere.
i cannot wait for thursday to come, in the same time, i hope it does not come so soon, because i have yet completed studying my material science module, and my elective.
sigh.
free gift day~
i thought i had the thickest set of notes with me when i entered the examination hall for my physics paper today, then i realized the china scholar next to me, carried in a Mount Everest, i felt so humbled.
anyway, i guess ultimately, the notes did not help much, because it tested pretty much on your concepts of the problems you understood, rather than just following the examples from tutorials or lectures. so a good lesson learnt today is, always try to understand your subjects well rather than memorizing the steps and just the key points.
memorizing gets you a pass, understanding it thoroughly varies the differences of being a distinction student. as for me, i dare not comment even though i managed to do the paper. i realized from last semester, never hope too much for you might just be put down with the expectations that you set high up there for yourself.
i am elated that mummy is finally home from her ten day tour in china. A house without her screams feels rather awkward! and a pleasant surprise, she bought me china-made and branded in china mp4. it looks exactly like an apple counterfeit. haha.
what's worst, the box was labelled, "i-movie, idea life at mumumusic!" firstly, i-movie is like a direct copy cat of i-pod, i-phones and etc, and can anyone kindly explain to me what mumumusic is? it seems rather disturbing. MUMU here, MUMU there. but complaints aside, i really like it!
adding on the the surprises, i got a free examination welfare package from a friend! in NTU, examination welfare packages usually come with some free vouchers, food, and stationary. as for this, it was filled with just food, that makes me fat. but i am touched with that thought of yours!! so THANK YOU YOU!
i hope those marks and spencer chocolate, and fatty acid filled potato chips won't make me put up too many extra pounds or else, i ensure you i will go vandalize your new white baby suzuki swift parking in the student financial office with my names and initials.
two papers down, and three more to go!
i cannot wait for my liberation of examinations coming this thursday!
whee!
anyway, i guess ultimately, the notes did not help much, because it tested pretty much on your concepts of the problems you understood, rather than just following the examples from tutorials or lectures. so a good lesson learnt today is, always try to understand your subjects well rather than memorizing the steps and just the key points.
memorizing gets you a pass, understanding it thoroughly varies the differences of being a distinction student. as for me, i dare not comment even though i managed to do the paper. i realized from last semester, never hope too much for you might just be put down with the expectations that you set high up there for yourself.
i am elated that mummy is finally home from her ten day tour in china. A house without her screams feels rather awkward! and a pleasant surprise, she bought me china-made and branded in china mp4. it looks exactly like an apple counterfeit. haha.
what's worst, the box was labelled, "i-movie, idea life at mumumusic!" firstly, i-movie is like a direct copy cat of i-pod, i-phones and etc, and can anyone kindly explain to me what mumumusic is? it seems rather disturbing. MUMU here, MUMU there. but complaints aside, i really like it!
adding on the the surprises, i got a free examination welfare package from a friend! in NTU, examination welfare packages usually come with some free vouchers, food, and stationary. as for this, it was filled with just food, that makes me fat. but i am touched with that thought of yours!! so THANK YOU YOU!
i hope those marks and spencer chocolate, and fatty acid filled potato chips won't make me put up too many extra pounds or else, i ensure you i will go vandalize your new white baby suzuki swift parking in the student financial office with my names and initials.
two papers down, and three more to go!
i cannot wait for my liberation of examinations coming this thursday!
whee!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
sleepless nights
this really stinks. i think besides an eye infection, i believe sleeping disorder is also an issue. i am suffering from insomnia.
i lied on my bed, counting sheeps till an infinite number and i am still wide awake. it does not help a single bit. for two consecutive nights, my sufficient rest is dependent on the remaining sleeping pills i have which was prescribed by my doctor previously.
i thought sleep was supposedly to be a pleasure, and my enjoyment! i desire my bed everyday and pounce onto her at the glimpse of it and yet all out of the blue, it appears so unpalatable.
sigh. hopefully tonight, i will be able to snore my whole room collapse without any assistance of doping medication.
i lied on my bed, counting sheeps till an infinite number and i am still wide awake. it does not help a single bit. for two consecutive nights, my sufficient rest is dependent on the remaining sleeping pills i have which was prescribed by my doctor previously.
i thought sleep was supposedly to be a pleasure, and my enjoyment! i desire my bed everyday and pounce onto her at the glimpse of it and yet all out of the blue, it appears so unpalatable.
sigh. hopefully tonight, i will be able to snore my whole room collapse without any assistance of doping medication.
blood shot eyes
i am down with eye infection again, and i think i am very prone to suffering from viral attacks on my pair of vision tools, which means once in a while, i will appear like some vengeful ghost with blood shot eyes that will give you glares that takes away your life.
well, that is not the point, it just irritates me because i feel like i am perpetually tearing. and i have to put on my spectacles, that many mistaken me as some army boy still. yes i am in love with black frame glasses, because that is the only type that makes me look good wearing them.
but no matter what, it just transforms me into a geek.
i just realized that the physics i have taken this semester is frying my brains dry. although it is an open book examination, with the difficulty of the paper being so tough, you will probably find flipping to the pages of assistance you bring into the hall, highly redundant. i will rather they set a more approachable set of questions and forbid us from bring our aid into the fighting ground.
this is frustrating because i feel like my effort put in for studying physical science going down the drains which inevitably, makes me feel like an absolute loser because i simply cannot understand or force feed any facts into my rigid brains.
this is depressing.
so tomorrow, i hope to score only half of the killer paper, and hopefully, the magic of the bell curve, can move me up to a B, and i mean a flat B, not even touching a B+.
god saves me.
please.
well, that is not the point, it just irritates me because i feel like i am perpetually tearing. and i have to put on my spectacles, that many mistaken me as some army boy still. yes i am in love with black frame glasses, because that is the only type that makes me look good wearing them.
but no matter what, it just transforms me into a geek.
i just realized that the physics i have taken this semester is frying my brains dry. although it is an open book examination, with the difficulty of the paper being so tough, you will probably find flipping to the pages of assistance you bring into the hall, highly redundant. i will rather they set a more approachable set of questions and forbid us from bring our aid into the fighting ground.
this is frustrating because i feel like my effort put in for studying physical science going down the drains which inevitably, makes me feel like an absolute loser because i simply cannot understand or force feed any facts into my rigid brains.
this is depressing.
so tomorrow, i hope to score only half of the killer paper, and hopefully, the magic of the bell curve, can move me up to a B, and i mean a flat B, not even touching a B+.
god saves me.
please.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
math paper
one down, four more more to go!
math paper today, and i completed the paper in one hour and fifteen minutes.
i think it is either i flunk it, or i am damn GOOD. but i think i am going to flip this paper.
feeling moody lately and R keeps appearing in my mind.
i miss R.
and i wonder why i kept thinking of R.
two years till now, i am left behind.
math paper today, and i completed the paper in one hour and fifteen minutes.
i think it is either i flunk it, or i am damn GOOD. but i think i am going to flip this paper.
feeling moody lately and R keeps appearing in my mind.
i miss R.
and i wonder why i kept thinking of R.
two years till now, i am left behind.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
exhausted
i was so beat out, i could no longer hang on that smile on my face. i yearned for my BED, but my groaning stomach could not withstand the hunger for the night.
but what is more embarrassing than having your gastric making noises like penguins, i left my supper place, completely forgotten about footing the bill. omg.
i swear i will never return there ever. now i need to seek for another best pattya fried noodles.
goodness me.
but what is more embarrassing than having your gastric making noises like penguins, i left my supper place, completely forgotten about footing the bill. omg.
i swear i will never return there ever. now i need to seek for another best pattya fried noodles.
goodness me.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
selfishness of mankind, is part of the parcel endowed by god in us, this entire package includes all the negatives vocabulary that we can find and read from the dictionary, a book of words defined by humans ourselves.
somehow many of us have failed to realize that actually many of these unpleasant descriptive words like jealousy, selfishness, arrogance and etc all coexist with the good stuff in man, just that in some, its extent of presence is just so minimal, we fail to sense it in them.
life was never meant to be a journey of smooth sailing, plagued with obstacles that appear like monsters devouring us each time we try and fail. many times, the determination in us just die off, and eventually, we allow ourselves to be consumed by this demon, which in fact, is just us. we lost to no one else, but to ourselves.
this expedition of living becomes jaded because we made it this way. we transformed a world created resplendently by the lord, into a world driven by our desires to live in extravagance and comfort, forgetting that this world means so much more than driving a Mercedes, going to the best schools, living in a big house and owning a great career.
sometimes, i wish i am not what i am today. perhaps, when i was what i was before weighing a ton and looking hideous, i was even happier even though i was constantly being the butt of the joke daily, because at least i knew, i made everyone happy, and i knew who were the true ones who were by my side.
today, i feel that all has been obscured. i cannot see the true faces, and i start to be suspicious of what is standing next to me. maybe sensitivity playing on my side, but human's actions have proven otherwise. some of my friends showed it, some of them displayed it, some of them act upon it and i wonder if they ever thought or reflected, to realize how they ever treat me as a friend, if they have reciprocated my sincerity with their own actions.
(sidetrack, i hope my friends will one day come to awake for how much i have done for them. some of them i personally make trips down to the far east to send them home, some of them i voluntarily paid for everything. some of them i turned up for their parties just for them even though i was a total stranger in the crowd, some of them i stayed by their side when they needed someone and advices and many other insane things i could do for my friends. in return, what did i receive. i only wish you all could treasure me slightly more.)
i have decided that when my examinations end, i would want to travel to many places to experience what lies beneath the sky outside my well that i live in. i do not want to be like everyone else, who finds their well sufficiently enough for them to be contented with. the world simply does not end with just what we see in this isle of ours. i detest this life here.
it is good that you are indignant, and livid. amazingly, we have all forgotten to put each other in each other's perspective. you failed to see things from the other side of the story, and me myself, have also resigned.
somehow i miss my army days when i was back on the secluded island off Singapore shores. because that was the time i was cut off from all communication from the outside world, living in the jungle whereby stars at night embraces you to sleep and you return to living on bare earth, and nature.
i wish to be uncontactable.
if you think i am living off good, that is what you see from your side of the world. i thought you would know better of me, that i am good at putting a pretendence of being satisfied, and elated with whatever i have.
this time round, you have proven yourself, wrong.
you are not everyone, but everyone is everyone. find the joy in your life my dear friend, close your eyes, and let the waters take you home.
something i gained from watching one of my favourite movies, The Bucket List. it was so beautifully portrayed to us, what life really is.
somehow many of us have failed to realize that actually many of these unpleasant descriptive words like jealousy, selfishness, arrogance and etc all coexist with the good stuff in man, just that in some, its extent of presence is just so minimal, we fail to sense it in them.
life was never meant to be a journey of smooth sailing, plagued with obstacles that appear like monsters devouring us each time we try and fail. many times, the determination in us just die off, and eventually, we allow ourselves to be consumed by this demon, which in fact, is just us. we lost to no one else, but to ourselves.
this expedition of living becomes jaded because we made it this way. we transformed a world created resplendently by the lord, into a world driven by our desires to live in extravagance and comfort, forgetting that this world means so much more than driving a Mercedes, going to the best schools, living in a big house and owning a great career.
sometimes, i wish i am not what i am today. perhaps, when i was what i was before weighing a ton and looking hideous, i was even happier even though i was constantly being the butt of the joke daily, because at least i knew, i made everyone happy, and i knew who were the true ones who were by my side.
today, i feel that all has been obscured. i cannot see the true faces, and i start to be suspicious of what is standing next to me. maybe sensitivity playing on my side, but human's actions have proven otherwise. some of my friends showed it, some of them displayed it, some of them act upon it and i wonder if they ever thought or reflected, to realize how they ever treat me as a friend, if they have reciprocated my sincerity with their own actions.
(sidetrack, i hope my friends will one day come to awake for how much i have done for them. some of them i personally make trips down to the far east to send them home, some of them i voluntarily paid for everything. some of them i turned up for their parties just for them even though i was a total stranger in the crowd, some of them i stayed by their side when they needed someone and advices and many other insane things i could do for my friends. in return, what did i receive. i only wish you all could treasure me slightly more.)
i have decided that when my examinations end, i would want to travel to many places to experience what lies beneath the sky outside my well that i live in. i do not want to be like everyone else, who finds their well sufficiently enough for them to be contented with. the world simply does not end with just what we see in this isle of ours. i detest this life here.
it is good that you are indignant, and livid. amazingly, we have all forgotten to put each other in each other's perspective. you failed to see things from the other side of the story, and me myself, have also resigned.
somehow i miss my army days when i was back on the secluded island off Singapore shores. because that was the time i was cut off from all communication from the outside world, living in the jungle whereby stars at night embraces you to sleep and you return to living on bare earth, and nature.
i wish to be uncontactable.
if you think i am living off good, that is what you see from your side of the world. i thought you would know better of me, that i am good at putting a pretendence of being satisfied, and elated with whatever i have.
this time round, you have proven yourself, wrong.
you are not everyone, but everyone is everyone. find the joy in your life my dear friend, close your eyes, and let the waters take you home.
something i gained from watching one of my favourite movies, The Bucket List. it was so beautifully portrayed to us, what life really is.
J, forgive me. I am sorry for acting as the complete jerk, who is selfish, and negate everyone else’s emotions. My self defense has let people down and I know it is the issue that sometimes lie between me and the rest of the world but somehow, for the past few years, I had learnt that protecting one's self is the most consequential thing to do, in fact, it is the imperative and correct move to take in our lives. I hope you will read this and understand where I am coming from. i apologize the fact that i cannot forget whatever that has happened, but frustrations have made me lost the tenacity to hold on for now.
I am here at this place once again, Siglap Center Mac Donald, where I met her for our second date. She was late, and I waiting for her in my greenish uniform, desperate to see her again. i had committed an offense, for escaping a day of my Basic military training to spend some time with her.
A place whereby so many memories were left behind, i was overwhelmed with all those trails left behind by you and me. I ponder upon how you are doing now and i sincerely hope that each day you are happy, because ever since two years back when you cogitated to exile yourself from my life, I have been praying for you.
Two years have past and my wound is still healing. Mending the million of shredded pieces together, at times, I can still feel that excruciating pain that was once inflicted in me by you pounding significantly hard in me reminding how unbearable and unforgettable the ache once was.
Maybe that is the resultant of this phobia in me to lead a life, to share my life with someone. i am just getting so used to being on my own. although at times, the emptiness calls and you feel like probably the greatest loser on earth, but it beats feeling cramps love can cause you.
:(
I am here at this place once again, Siglap Center Mac Donald, where I met her for our second date. She was late, and I waiting for her in my greenish uniform, desperate to see her again. i had committed an offense, for escaping a day of my Basic military training to spend some time with her.
A place whereby so many memories were left behind, i was overwhelmed with all those trails left behind by you and me. I ponder upon how you are doing now and i sincerely hope that each day you are happy, because ever since two years back when you cogitated to exile yourself from my life, I have been praying for you.
Two years have past and my wound is still healing. Mending the million of shredded pieces together, at times, I can still feel that excruciating pain that was once inflicted in me by you pounding significantly hard in me reminding how unbearable and unforgettable the ache once was.
Maybe that is the resultant of this phobia in me to lead a life, to share my life with someone. i am just getting so used to being on my own. although at times, the emptiness calls and you feel like probably the greatest loser on earth, but it beats feeling cramps love can cause you.
:(
Friday, April 10, 2009
what's there to apologize when i do not know what went so disastrously wrong.
what's there to cry when i do not know the origin of the tears.
what's there to talk about when we do not even have the issues set.
honestly, i am so lost, and frustrated about this obstacle that has arisen itself between us. i do not even know why a friendship has transformed this way. it saddens me, and i do have my tears repleting my jaded eyes.
why are my intentions mistaken? and why is it suddenly, we never seem to be able to understand each other anymore.
tell me what landed us in this predicament, whereby nothing appears immaculate.
i need a break. :(
what's there to cry when i do not know the origin of the tears.
what's there to talk about when we do not even have the issues set.
honestly, i am so lost, and frustrated about this obstacle that has arisen itself between us. i do not even know why a friendship has transformed this way. it saddens me, and i do have my tears repleting my jaded eyes.
why are my intentions mistaken? and why is it suddenly, we never seem to be able to understand each other anymore.
tell me what landed us in this predicament, whereby nothing appears immaculate.
i need a break. :(
the day i relieved myself
the bass was thumping, and the crowd went insane.
all the songs playing were my favorite on my i-pod's playlist. the alcohol effect kicked in, and i was enjoying myself. finally, i let myself go, and for once, i had forgotten my examinations were just this coming new week on tuesday.
i partied away like a wild bear in the safari, and then i tell myself, for the remaining four days, i am going to hibernate again in my cave.
i will be released after two more weeks. just endure with it, and soon, i will be liberated from the current truckload amount of stress that is weighing itself on me.
let's see, at least i get to relieve myself that little bit today:)
now i should be more prepared to study harder:)
yay!
i feel happy:)
all the songs playing were my favorite on my i-pod's playlist. the alcohol effect kicked in, and i was enjoying myself. finally, i let myself go, and for once, i had forgotten my examinations were just this coming new week on tuesday.
i partied away like a wild bear in the safari, and then i tell myself, for the remaining four days, i am going to hibernate again in my cave.
i will be released after two more weeks. just endure with it, and soon, i will be liberated from the current truckload amount of stress that is weighing itself on me.
let's see, at least i get to relieve myself that little bit today:)
now i should be more prepared to study harder:)
yay!
i feel happy:)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
no place to study in school:(
how depressing. i took three hours to locate for a place to study, in the end, i landed back in my own nest at home to mug with two of my school mates.
ever wonder why is it so hard to get a place? check out this link. this happens to my school "central library". and if you cannot even a place to sit in the library, do not even think about finding some empty tutorial rooms, seminar rooms or even an empty space, to study.
well of course there are some tables, if you do not mind mugging under the direct hot sun or rain.
kns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OWFI4_Q8Wk
ARGH.
ever wonder why is it so hard to get a place? check out this link. this happens to my school "central library". and if you cannot even a place to sit in the library, do not even think about finding some empty tutorial rooms, seminar rooms or even an empty space, to study.
well of course there are some tables, if you do not mind mugging under the direct hot sun or rain.
kns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OWFI4_Q8Wk
ARGH.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
230am
it is 230am in the morning, and i am still awake. it is probably the effect of drinking coffee late night kicking in.
i feel frustrated and suddenly, i feel moody. i do not know why. i attempted to try, but then i feel so repelled. something pulled me back, and i retaliated upon any other calls to even bother again.
i feel disturbed over my elder's brother's behavior, and although i do not have much to say, to interfere in his own personal life, it is upsetting to know how he chooses to lead on his life at this conjuncture.
i think i am spacing out. today is not productive at all, and i think i require a break because i am going to get burnt out pretty soon. i feel like i am going insane. maybe i am stress intolerant just like how some can be lactose intolerant. or perhaps, i am just bothered by certain issues which i myself find it not lucid at all. i think i am contradicting myself. now i find myself imbecile. :(
help please?
walking along the beach alone at one in the morning felt good. fortunately, there was slight breeze, and the air was not exactly that humid. i miss taking strolls:(
i shall pray harder tonight before i sleep, so hopefully, god will answer them sooner.:)
i feel frustrated and suddenly, i feel moody. i do not know why. i attempted to try, but then i feel so repelled. something pulled me back, and i retaliated upon any other calls to even bother again.
i feel disturbed over my elder's brother's behavior, and although i do not have much to say, to interfere in his own personal life, it is upsetting to know how he chooses to lead on his life at this conjuncture.
i think i am spacing out. today is not productive at all, and i think i require a break because i am going to get burnt out pretty soon. i feel like i am going insane. maybe i am stress intolerant just like how some can be lactose intolerant. or perhaps, i am just bothered by certain issues which i myself find it not lucid at all. i think i am contradicting myself. now i find myself imbecile. :(
help please?
walking along the beach alone at one in the morning felt good. fortunately, there was slight breeze, and the air was not exactly that humid. i miss taking strolls:(
i shall pray harder tonight before i sleep, so hopefully, god will answer them sooner.:)
Monday, April 6, 2009
deprived.
i am deprived of an active social life. the only things revolving around me are just, notes, textbooks, tutorials and past year examination papers. how mundane can it get?
i want to go out party this Friday!! i want to CELEBRATE GOOD FRIDAY!:((((
but my first paper is going to commence on the following Tuesday. how how how?!
i find myself so pathetic. i connected my i-pod to the system in tutorial room, to let myself enjoy that fifteen minutes of short lived clubbing mode.
i need a life.
:(
i want to go out party this Friday!! i want to CELEBRATE GOOD FRIDAY!:((((
but my first paper is going to commence on the following Tuesday. how how how?!
i find myself so pathetic. i connected my i-pod to the system in tutorial room, to let myself enjoy that fifteen minutes of short lived clubbing mode.
i need a life.
:(
Sunday, April 5, 2009
sunday-050409
well, i think it is rather lame to leave my entry's title as the date itself because at the conclusion of this entire stanzas, the date and time will reveal themselves there, but, i just could not think of anything better. after all, what can be so happening when i spend my entire day in school on a resplendent sunday which is meant for things which are probably more meaningful and fun?
seminar rooms were locked today, and i thought air-condition was cut. fortunately, we managed to climb into the room through an unlocked window. how pathetic isn't it. we actually have to CLAMBER ourselves into a room so that we can finally find somewhere we can acclaim that place to US.
the other places available were conquered by the ATs (Ah tiongs).:(
life suck in university and i thought how much fun i was going to have. perhaps it is just the stressful life caused by the Singapore Education System. everything is just so examination based. i feel like this eight semesters i am going to go through to be compared to taking 'A' levels eight times. what a horrible nightmare and to think that i actually convinced myself that i will never allow myself to undergo that tumultuous trauma caused by that life-deciding factor.
i miss days when i was younger. it appeared so much, kinder.
argh. nine more days to examinations, and i cannot wait for my four months of holidays:(
I WANT TO GO EAT GOOD FOOD, SHOP, WATCH MOVIE, SLEEP, RUN, BEACH, CYCLE, ROLLER BLADE, SWIM, PLAY, SLACK, READ STORY BOOKS, TAKE UP LESSONS, LEARN MY PIANO, GO BACK TAIWAN, TRAVEL, TAKE PHOTOS.
sigh:(
probably the most exciting thing i did today, I bought the soundtracks of the movie, "confessions of a shopaholic." a great show, i actually watched it myself again for stress relief.
back to books:(
seminar rooms were locked today, and i thought air-condition was cut. fortunately, we managed to climb into the room through an unlocked window. how pathetic isn't it. we actually have to CLAMBER ourselves into a room so that we can finally find somewhere we can acclaim that place to US.
the other places available were conquered by the ATs (Ah tiongs).:(
life suck in university and i thought how much fun i was going to have. perhaps it is just the stressful life caused by the Singapore Education System. everything is just so examination based. i feel like this eight semesters i am going to go through to be compared to taking 'A' levels eight times. what a horrible nightmare and to think that i actually convinced myself that i will never allow myself to undergo that tumultuous trauma caused by that life-deciding factor.
i miss days when i was younger. it appeared so much, kinder.
argh. nine more days to examinations, and i cannot wait for my four months of holidays:(
I WANT TO GO EAT GOOD FOOD, SHOP, WATCH MOVIE, SLEEP, RUN, BEACH, CYCLE, ROLLER BLADE, SWIM, PLAY, SLACK, READ STORY BOOKS, TAKE UP LESSONS, LEARN MY PIANO, GO BACK TAIWAN, TRAVEL, TAKE PHOTOS.
sigh:(
probably the most exciting thing i did today, I bought the soundtracks of the movie, "confessions of a shopaholic." a great show, i actually watched it myself again for stress relief.
back to books:(
Saturday, April 4, 2009
on a saturday night.
physics is another killer.
i realized i am finding all the modules that i am taking a murderer of my intelligence.
anyway, maybe engineering is not cut up for me:( maybe my parents were immaculate, i should be an Arts student. then again, i have always been a Science student for like my entire academic life? physics, chemistry, biology, and math were like my favorites back then!
perhaps it is the level of difficulty now that is dampening my interest and abilities in them. i think i need to study harder. crack my brains, and let the juice flow out or are there any steroids for my CPU up there to function better? i need an upgrade to a Quad Core.
raining days are so good for tucking yourself in bed and sleep, and guess what? it's pouring so heavily outside my tutorial room, and i am almost dozing off. how nice. each words on my textbooks get muffled, and BOOM. my head is on the table and i am snoring away.
dumb ass.
ten days to count down and i am no where near prepared.
the school is extremely quiet on a saturday night. i wonder how life is outside this secluded area :(
王力宏：星期六的深夜。 how ironical, i am listening to this song now.
i realized i am finding all the modules that i am taking a murderer of my intelligence.
anyway, maybe engineering is not cut up for me:( maybe my parents were immaculate, i should be an Arts student. then again, i have always been a Science student for like my entire academic life? physics, chemistry, biology, and math were like my favorites back then!
perhaps it is the level of difficulty now that is dampening my interest and abilities in them. i think i need to study harder. crack my brains, and let the juice flow out or are there any steroids for my CPU up there to function better? i need an upgrade to a Quad Core.
raining days are so good for tucking yourself in bed and sleep, and guess what? it's pouring so heavily outside my tutorial room, and i am almost dozing off. how nice. each words on my textbooks get muffled, and BOOM. my head is on the table and i am snoring away.
dumb ass.
ten days to count down and i am no where near prepared.
the school is extremely quiet on a saturday night. i wonder how life is outside this secluded area :(
王力宏：星期六的深夜。 how ironical, i am listening to this song now.
Friday, April 3, 2009
bad day
there is this something bothering me. i think i know how to resolve it, but i do not know why i cannot or even push myself to come face the obdurate truth.
i wish i can forgive myself, but i cannot.
i do not know why i am indignant. i cannot find a reason to be. but i am livid.
i feel tired, out of breath, and jaded.
argh.
i'm getting frustrated and i think i need a getaway right now at this instance. run away to a faraway land whereby you can detach yourself from the all the relating issues that keep you having that inverted "u" shaped clinging onto your smile. i think sometimes, i am an escapist.
i came across my music library today while studying the dry and heavy BS1004 notes, and strolled by this song which was written to me by someone. it is called indestructible.
promises were made and broken, then you come to realize today, many people has refute the definition of what promises are. from dictionary.com, it is defined as, "To commit oneself by a promise to do or give." it struck me suddenly, i no longer apprehend what it means because i find it so contradictory to people's action as it is so prevalent one's words no longer mean anything, not to mention, a promise.
you got me thinking, you got me reflecting, you reminded me of that forgotten excruciating pain again.
i don't like.
argh.
today is a bad day, hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
anyway, my friend E, said something damn lame today and it tickled me.
E: omg, that's a laser mouse. it is dangerous.
ME: why?
E: because there is laser, it harms your eyes.
ME: fell off my chair.
that was lame. very lame.
i wish i can forgive myself, but i cannot.
i do not know why i am indignant. i cannot find a reason to be. but i am livid.
i feel tired, out of breath, and jaded.
argh.
i'm getting frustrated and i think i need a getaway right now at this instance. run away to a faraway land whereby you can detach yourself from the all the relating issues that keep you having that inverted "u" shaped clinging onto your smile. i think sometimes, i am an escapist.
i came across my music library today while studying the dry and heavy BS1004 notes, and strolled by this song which was written to me by someone. it is called indestructible.
promises were made and broken, then you come to realize today, many people has refute the definition of what promises are. from dictionary.com, it is defined as, "To commit oneself by a promise to do or give." it struck me suddenly, i no longer apprehend what it means because i find it so contradictory to people's action as it is so prevalent one's words no longer mean anything, not to mention, a promise.
you got me thinking, you got me reflecting, you reminded me of that forgotten excruciating pain again.
i don't like.
argh.
today is a bad day, hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
anyway, my friend E, said something damn lame today and it tickled me.
E: omg, that's a laser mouse. it is dangerous.
ME: why?
E: because there is laser, it harms your eyes.
ME: fell off my chair.
that was lame. very lame.
wasting time!
omg, i was supposed to start studying at 1400, and in the end, i watched heart of greed for 2.5 hours.
procrastination and lack of focus is a killer to me.
something random from watching that television drama, i want the colorful rain to fall from the sky too in my world, but then again, how do we know what a colorful rain really is when in this world of reality, it does not exist? perhaps it's just like what some say, "when it comes, you will know it because your heart will tell you so."
:(
i am brooding over so many issues, and i really need a breather soon.
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!
back to studying!
and i swear i won't take life sciences, ever again.
procrastination and lack of focus is a killer to me.
something random from watching that television drama, i want the colorful rain to fall from the sky too in my world, but then again, how do we know what a colorful rain really is when in this world of reality, it does not exist? perhaps it's just like what some say, "when it comes, you will know it because your heart will tell you so."
:(
i am brooding over so many issues, and i really need a breather soon.
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!
back to studying!
and i swear i won't take life sciences, ever again.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
a new blog":)
finally, i get my hands down to create a new blog with a new heading:) i supposed it is about time i ditch my previous one in which it was plagued with all my unhappy posts and start all over again, anew.
i have always enjoyed writing, but the truckload amount of school work lately, has crippled my mind and so, even typing a complete well structured sentence down on my screen deemed implausible. life is tedious in university, especially when examinations are kicking your ass.
Anyway at least i am highly satisfied now, because i have finally get myself moving on setting up this new diary of mine and start jotting down some of my random thoughts of the day. well, do not bother asking me for my old address, because i have already set it on private mode, but i guess, i might once in a while go back and read it, to re-live certain memories and laugh at how silly i was before:)
time is a battle i am hoping to beat, and so, i hope people can pardon me, for the simplicity of this website for now, and soon after when i have triumph my knowledge based tests set by my callous professors, i will refurnish this entire web page.
i shall now go back to burying and force feed myself with all these incomprehensible notes lying lifeless on my table:(
i have always enjoyed writing, but the truckload amount of school work lately, has crippled my mind and so, even typing a complete well structured sentence down on my screen deemed implausible. life is tedious in university, especially when examinations are kicking your ass.
Anyway at least i am highly satisfied now, because i have finally get myself moving on setting up this new diary of mine and start jotting down some of my random thoughts of the day. well, do not bother asking me for my old address, because i have already set it on private mode, but i guess, i might once in a while go back and read it, to re-live certain memories and laugh at how silly i was before:)
time is a battle i am hoping to beat, and so, i hope people can pardon me, for the simplicity of this website for now, and soon after when i have triumph my knowledge based tests set by my callous professors, i will refurnish this entire web page.
i shall now go back to burying and force feed myself with all these incomprehensible notes lying lifeless on my table:(
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